A Simple Girl's Life

2011-07-20T18:15:00.000+08:00

I miss you more when I think about you. But nothing is stopping me from thinking/ there's no reason for me to stop. I love you my soulmate :)

2011-07-18T23:40:00.001+08:00

Makes a lot of sense.

2011-06-03T22:31:00.001+08:00

A date to mark in the calendar, 02.06.2011! it took 1 year and a month after making things clear, for someone to put an end to things. Brave step, he's the man! And yes, moving on, life has been going on pretty well. Normal actually. ONLY one day into my fresh beginning, can't say much. But hell yeah, i've got a lot of things coming up & really pack months ahead. LOOKING FORWARD. Leave the past in the past & gonna find the future. When misery loves company.. Baybeh, u'll miss me when I'm gone! Even if I die, never appear at my funeral. I'm finally saying goodbye to you & ur EGO!

2011-03-14T01:41:00.001+08:00

You know what, i really miss JAPAN. i miss everything there when i was there. it was the best. The best place i've been to out of Singapore. HISTORY REPEATING itself? KARMA? for how much they killed others in WWII, are they experiencing it now? I feel it's a pity to see innocent lives go i guess. It's just not right. Cannot accept. Anyway, what has been right in this world? Everything has been screwed up for everyone. Thank god we're here in Singapore. No matter how evil we seem to be, I think we Singaporeans still have a big heart. If i wasn't working/schooling, i'd definitely go down to japan to do whatever i can and help with relief efforts. But, I AM stuck here. Anyway, i just feel crushed when such things happen. Just pray there shouldn't be further damages. Well for me, i'm now feeling the Butterflies i guess. I'd be off in 1 and a half days. Flower's taking Kavadi for Panguni for the first time, but i'm sad i can't be there. Told him to take the next time so i can go :) HAHA, how selfish of me. But yeah, hope his prayers go well. I guess that great-hearted guy deserves everything he wants! So yeaaap, i will be missing panguni. No big deal. After all I missed thaipusam this year too! the only miss is seeing flower with a kavadi! ALRYT, need to go off to bed. MONDAY's GONNA BE AWESOME AT WORK. Oh & yes ILY & IMY :X

2011-03-12T03:51:00.001+08:00

WE are WHO WE are :)

2011-03-11T23:52:00.001+08:00

I really don't find anything wrong in what I did. If you think it is, then it's ur bloody business! It has been a crazy week. I've got so much work to complete before i leave on tuesday. Means i've got 3 and a half days to do every shit. And i haven't packed. I AM EXHAUSTED! Went to chinatown with Serene, Dalvin & Alan for "you know what" after wrk on wed. Erm i liked the song dedications. Truly, it was a wonderful night. Japan got hit by the Earthquake tdy & there was this devastating Tsunami. Scary shit. Suddenly i felt all horrible upon hearing that Taiwan was in danger too. OMG, i'm praying Jeevo is safe there since he just left tdy evening. He'd probably be happy if he gets sent back though. So many people passed away in Japan. My heart goes out to them. I feel really sry, helpless though. We Singaporeans are fortunate cuz we don't experience such stuffs. It isn't easy after all. Haiz :( I dun mind if the Tsunami comes to India next week & sweep me away though. I'd be happy & the most grateful person on earth if it happens. I really dun like this tiring weekend. It's a brain drain! Really very very bad. I enjoy talking to you. You send fireworks down my intestines. Lol. Ugly way to put it i noe. But u're cute u noe!! Missess :)

2011-03-10T05:39:00.000+08:00

I'm actually glad that my heart finally understands that it was easier to let go. It always was right? Hmm..

2011-03-06T23:25:00.000+08:00

Hell yeah, Drink it up! Lol crap. I'm stuck with all kind of songs lately. DIARY is awesome luh, SITI hates it though. Haha. personal favourite. I noe it's a crappy song. And i'm a quarter-way through my "FEEL GOOD" book. And yes i am guilty of buying another 3 books. NO i am not crazy & yes i DON'T have all the time in the world, but it just interests me a lot. 2 was on love, one was a suspense thriller. BOOK, not MOVIE!! i just completed my 2500 essay. i've got a 7000 word one due on the 23rd. i love words. 7000 dollars wld be nice, but definitely not 7000 words. Still working on it, day and night. AND just when i thought i will get a breather for my next term, NOPE!!! cuz i get to take 3 modules again. yes people feel i'm a nut case, but you noe wad that means?!! I get to complete my degree THIS YEAR. cuz technically i've got 7 modules left. WOOHOOOOOO. i can graduate before turning 21. i wanna give a shot at doing my MASTERS at NUS or something :) ambitious crap. Anyway, my exams are in 2 weeks time. But next week i will be going to Kerala just before my exams with the awesome SINDA peeps. Cool or wad?! i am excited. But now, i am tired. I love WORK, SCHOOL, SINDA and of course my awesome books. i dun like iPHONE. it's boring shit. I want iPAD. he will buy me one, i wish... i will put it on my wish-list! Okay, sleep time. MONDAY won't SUCK! It's called POSITIVE thinking. ADIOZ :)

2011-03-05T00:07:00.000+08:00

Oh and did i forget to tell you that i really dun tolerate people like you. A whole bunch of basturds & liars who always want things your way, FUCK OFF. We ladies can choose what we want too! So here goes my MIDDLE FINGER up into ur NOSE. Grrr. One of those mood swinging fridays. Though i had a pretty sweet day. LOL. confused kid in a confused world & here i am confusing everyone too. CONFUSING shit. Kk, off to the bed ;P

2011-03-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

Actually u just have to take me away & leave me alone there. Cuz i need some time alone.

Yes, sick of it. Oh well if i had fb, this wld have been my status update.

WELL. No comments. Looking forward to friday :)

2011-02-27T23:54:00.001+08:00

Wooohooooo! SKYPE is awesome. I got to see my brother on SAT, SUN & TMR TOOO. It's SUNDAY & yes i totally know it's ending, but i just can't stop smiling cuz i had a HAPPY WEEK and yeah it ended well! I had weekend classes on fri, sat and sun. It was not one bit boring at all, thanks to the Australian guy! But i felt very tired, so i rotted at home most of the time after sch. Sat night was spent chatting with Jeevo and i never regretted it. He was a great entertainer, like SERIOUSLY. It was pretty much fun and easy going. With everything else settled, and NO HARD-FEELINGS, hope to chat up more. He's probably gonna end up as another great gossip fren of mine. And hell I am sorry for making you feel the way you did. But now, AAL IZ WELL i guess :) He's another whole personality of human being, a great gentleman i believe and still do. Hopefully the friendship continues! i've got an assignment due on tues!!! * RUNSS AWAY TO schoolwork*

2011-02-26T22:45:00.000+08:00

One moment in life,
I won't last a day without you,
So don't cry for me,
Just stay alive.

Hey dear,
You're my inspiration,
We have a groovy kind of love,
Forever no end.

I'm feeling so good,
When I had your love,
But please don't worry,
I will still wait for tonight.

Love don't cost a thing,
Just in one kiss,
Love begins,
I'm too close.

You'll be in my heart,
Even in a whole new world,
Just believe,
We will make it possible.

I still remember,
When you wished upon a star,
We had an endless love,
And a stairway to love.

2011-02-24T00:28:00.000+08:00

I loved LIC cuz i always get to see him & he never fails to make our day. I'm down with H1N1. Not something i should be telling the whole world about but ya, the truth is 9 out of 10 cases are H1N1 related. I got this news from internal authorities! The gvmt just wants us to fight back against the flu to boost our immune system. CRAP. So people if you're sick, REST WELL and sleep! cuz this cruel flu comes with horrible body aches! unless you dun have a choice like me. I have been running around with a strangling TIGHT schedule. Oh well i look so shrunk like i never ate in a long time. Great thing is that it's a huge weight loss. Bad thing is that i feel like fainting. Hopefully not while i'm driving. I shall not be the cause of an accident. Alright, back to sch work. I'm losing my sleep tonight & i DUN WANNA WORK TMR! :( Tired, exhausted. ONLY if i was BORN RICH or MONEY never existed. All of us would be happy souls. NO MONEY=NO HAPPINESS=NO LIFE! Oh but there's always LOVE & HOPE & FAITH! i miss you, you keep coming into my mind and it's weird! & oh i love my best friend GAYU and my bro GUGU. hopefully i get to free up some time for the meet up i owe him. I'm jz worried since he said things have nt been too good with him but as he always says, i too believe that good things will happen to good people, so he's great, and all will be fine! Not forgetting how much i miss my bro. HAIZ. No matter what happens, there will always be a bright side to things. It's a matter of time, so no worries people. SMILE cuz it's thursday :)

2011-02-21T02:48:00.000+08:00

This is also KINDA cute!

Cute or wad?!! LMFAO!

I need to be up in 4 hours for work & no, i dun feel like sleeping. I'm gonna go READING while listening to good music. Dun ask me what i define as good. Today i can go from a wide range of pop, to HEAVY METAL, so that's how crazy i got! I dun want MONDAY blues, that's why i'm not sleeping. Cuz if i dun sleep, will it still mean it's sunday? Will i ever get to see you this year? I dun really miss you. I miss who i thought u were. Pls dun talk to me, i dun want you. I am doing great!

2011-02-20T23:51:00.000+08:00

Always take life the way you want it. And till you're there, i've got no worries cuz that's how much I love you :D Anyway the week went pretty great. Started off with the movie JUST GO WIT IT on the eve of Valntines day, THE REBOUND on Valentines day, and lastly NO STRINGS ATTACHED on sunday the 20th of FEB! The best was JUST GO WITH IT, so go catch it if u haven't! I've got pretty good movie taste ;P Oh well, works going okay. Sch's being a bitch, assignments and group projects are a killer.. I got two more gonna be due soon. DAMN. tough life baybeh. Sinda's fun and going somewhat well. But things are kinda rushy too. Matthew flew off :( Now when people ask me, is AUSTRALIA really that far, i go screaming "HELL YES IT IS" cuz when your loved ones are there, it feels like they're at north pole luh! wa lau! Thank goodness mum's returning on saturday. I CANNOT TAKE IT AT HOME! i feel like dying :( I can't believe i'm stepping into my last week of feb. I've got MARCH planned out all the way till my last exam on the 24th. You guys can date me after that! ;P My deepest, sincere apologies to those i've been saying a NO to. It's not that i dun wanna be out on dinners or movies, i'm just pretty occupied and trying to give time to people who need it, & i only have certain evenings left, so pls understand :(

2011-02-17T09:50:00.003+08:00

Need you now by LADY ANTEBELLUM
Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Woah, woah
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now, I just need you now

Oh baby, I need you now

2011-02-13T13:48:00.000+08:00

Oh hell yeah! It does hurt..

i don't wanna be anywhere. And I don't want tomorrow to come. NO.

2011-02-12T23:52:00.000+08:00

From KAKA, KUKU & DVD @ Nabins

Saturday was SINDA, SHOW & SHISHA :) Kerala trip's confirmed. Pongal show was crappy. I loved my birthday surprise & gifts from my dearest guy friends. I was having a good chit chat with gayu & that's a perfect way to end SATURDAY. & lastly a quote to end this post: "All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us." - Those who understand will always understand :)

2011-02-09T23:55:00.002+08:00

I am gonna feel even more lonelier without you. I almost flooded Changi Airport with my tears. I din care about those FUCKTARDS who gave me weird looks. I wanted my bro here the very next min he left! He left CRYING. i din wanna face him. We made everyone cry. HE IS THE BEST BLOOD BRO. I dun feel good at all. Nothing much to say. I really miss my brother a lot. Hope to see you in 10 months :(

2011-02-06T23:33:00.000+08:00

After everything, CNY holidays are over. So much for CNY?! They shld make it a one-week holiday just like malaysia luh! if they can do it, i dun understand why can't Singapore, with a majority chinese population, do it too! I'll have more time for visiting & eating. Alright, let me not get too political abt this. Talking about politics, an hour ago i was searching for HARD TRUTHS by SM LKY but instead ended up buying another book that cost $18.95. I love this one. One of the best-sellers. Hmm. But i still want that book. Anyone sees it, BUY FOR ME PULEASEEE! Only $39.90! I like books. Great company! :)

2011-02-05T22:41:00.039+08:00

Pictures do the REAL talking

It's just this never-ending bond we share from the most crappiest to serious shit :)


And needless to say, these people completed my Saturday evening :)

Oh my kadavuleh. After the super boring weekend. Sat was endless fun & i am tired. My morning started at 8.30am. People drove to my place. I pulled myself out of home. Breakfast was on MATT at bedok, some prata nonsense. Then Petrol then BARRAGE :) kite flying was a failure. LOL. wind too strong. So we all drove to marina square for starbucks. Chatted then we split up and went off. Picked mum & bro up, FLEW to the west to see grandparents :) Then flew back home for dinner appt with GAYU. Went to NEX for the first time. Was this super huge mall. I bought clothes. We ate at MAD JACK. then home sweet home at 10.30pm. Great sat. Among everything, my dearest undoh msged me. He forgived me?! I was afraid after the mess i made. Letting someone like him down is the worst thing any human being can do, AND I DID IT! Din wanna be around as much after screwing things up. I think he understood why i was avoiding him. i cld tell from the msg that he knew i was trying to GO MISSING! He is one super smart bro. I dun even have to say a word, and he noes everything. what i'm thinking, feeling & even what song is running in my head. I just like what we shared. hard to find a sibling-like person whom you can just pour your heart out to. Or did he feel the vibes?! I was thinking about him throughout CNY & worrying abt wad happened between us. I miss you like crazy luh! I swear i cld live without anything, but not without him. He makes my day no matter what. & i tried to give him my best, but i failed to -__- I owe him a super huge apology for the stupidest thing i did. grrrrrr. Guilty still. Okay, i really miss you & all the talking. We shall meet soon, hopefully. You are the best gugu, and nothing can replace you. I am sorry :(

2011-02-05T00:08:00.000+08:00

You'd be more than happy to hear this news. Lets do it right, the way you call it, FRIENDS!

& I found myself not needing an answer to this question anymore...

2011-02-04T13:57:00.001+08:00

Something REALLY stupid happened. I actually paid $13 to watch a tamil movie at REX. and that also, VIJAY's horrible movie. It was long ever since i paid to watch his movies in theatre! This was yst coz me & my family was totally bored rotting at home so we went for the movie at 9pm! That makes it $13X4!! Seriously, only the comedy was nice. Dun wish to comment any further. I just wasted 3 hours of sleep, petrol & money! Oh & the CNY has been gg so well. I have been sleeping, sleeping & sleeping. Kinda cool actually. Tmr is aredi sat :( I promise to do all my sch wrk today. & YAY, my results for the previous mods are out. I AM HAPPY! :D Hehehehe. Thank god & myself for completing it. Grrrrr. I am hungry. I am sad. NOBODY's HOME :( So i'm gonna sleep again now.Weird timing but, SLEEEP IS GOOD. I miss GAYU & her noisy bf. I was supposed to go cycling with kaka & kuku tdy but the rental shop's closed. So we're postponing it to another sat! & tmr morning is KITE FLYING at barrage with azil, james & matt. I dun wanna drive. I'll get them to pick me up ;P Then i'll fly to the west to see my LOVED ONES! Excited much :) Life seems so good. SEEMS only luh. Haha. But tdy is gonna be hell studying. & I miss him, but it's okay. I'll be fine, it's just a matter of time. I'm not gonna let my feelings run on for years :)

2011-02-03T16:41:00.001+08:00

It's CNY! Happy holidays. & this new year, i changed my view towards life. It's not, LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE. it's RISK,CARE,DREAM & EXPECT!


& for that, i've got to stop wishing for things and travel at the speed of light. Or even faster??


Yes even if that means, DOING IT ALONE. cuz Fck others abt what they think!

BECAUSE i LIVE for the moment baybeh!

2011-01-31T13:09:00.001+08:00

Yep, it is lunch time. On my usual diet. I dunno about today. I'm not having monday blues. These people at work definitely bring all those smiles to my faces with the smallest & stupidest things they do and say. I dun wanna disappoint people with my bad mood. So here i go faking a smile. It was a rough weekend. Then this week, i am cancelling lots of plans. I wanna be home for now. Till i get better at least. Hopefully the new year brings in more luck&prosperity. Kinda looking fwd to CNY though i've got nth in mind. Bro is leaving in 9days with mum. Mum's gonna be away for 3 weeks & bro, 3years. my gd friend matt is leaving in 18 days for a year. Must he be a pilot?!! I am going to miss them both big time. Yes fb is the only way to keep in contact. i'll find some other ways. Fb is not for me. Really. I feel better without it. As much as i am hearing things, i dun wanna see anything. i need to keep my heart like a stone if i wanna survive. Breaking down for someone who wldnn't respect me is worthless. That are the basics. Respect & manners. Am i asking for too much? Are you gonna say that i did not give u enough of anything?! I gave you practically everything! So much for all these? Someone else wld have appreciated it 1000times more.. Too late to save everything we shared. Its ok luh, time will heal all wounds. Your friends will help you forget me somehow. Life will go on.. You've got so many options, i dun even wanna be an option in people's life when i make them my priority! Anyway, i got to chill. I will always believe that things will get better :) Okay faru & ranjy msged me. I was touched. miss them. Takes a lot for ppl to rmb me when i'm not even on fb. Hopefully this week i'll meet both of them since there are "LONG" holidays. It's freezing in office. I swear the rain has to stop. I don't like these gloomy skies. Driving is uncomfortable. Sleeping is worse. It's too cold & I HATE IT!

2011-01-31T12:34:00.001+08:00

2011-01-30T22:11:00.000+08:00

Ya, it was not just another weekend. It was another weekend of heartbreaking moments. Saturday was WWW. Had a great time with Gayu even if it was raining. Wouldn't forget how much i hurt my car and that hurt me. It was really bad. One simple thing, FUCK her for what happened. Then saw gayu's dearest bf. I talked like i never talked for a 100 years. Anyway i and gayu had a really good talk. I dunno how many things have happened to me, but i told her to take me as an example how not to trust people & ruin her life. Thank god she is not like the rest. I dunno la. I really dun wanna say anything. Went to downtown tdy again. Me, matt, azil & james. 3 of us drove there, parked side by side. It was fun. Watched green hornet. Not too bad. but it was a long 2 hr draggy movie. Hmm. after that, drove azil home,slacked a while & tail gated each other before we split to go on our own ways. Then the bomb came. I really appreciate how u were there for me. I feel guilty for all this. My fault. How u probably lost every trust u had on me. I really broke it right? FML. the last one i wanted leaving was you. Cuz u were one of the best. It wldn't really mean anything if i lost her in my life, but there u go together. I dun wanna stand in between. U might say there's nothing bro. But a nothing wldn't have become like that. I really don't have anything left to cry about. Like how i left everything & everyone who took me for granted & walked alone, u were not the same. You were always there. Keeping everything inside my head, killed me. & today was just an explosion. Huh, now what else? You have got her now. Can u see?! she cares. I don't. I'm the bitch. Since she loved you first, she was there longer & since you might feel that it's better to see who stays the longest instead of what was stronger, i will kill whatever is inside my heart. I don't wish to be taken for granted. And if u're testing time, i dun wanna play this game. THE END.

2011-01-28T11:36:00.002+08:00

Aathangara maramae.. arasa mara ilaiyae.. listening to this & blogging. Nth much at work due to CNY next week. After that i have to get prepared to die at work. eeeee. Min says he'll get me a job at a HUGE MNC (GE)!! Like WOW. but i'm just too lazy to edit my resume la, but i have to! better $$! hmm.. kinda busy with sch for the past few days. It's finally friday & i am exhausted! Tmr & sunday is gonna be a long but fun day with great friends &family of course! It's CNY next week aredi la. Like wtf! So fast! i wanna drive into mlysia but no time uh! coz it's gonna be a busy week. grrrr. It's not holidays la. More like a torture week! If i dun finish up my work by feb, i will die in march when exams n due dates come. + the india trip will tk up a week! GOD, pls be nice to me. I noe u have been great all along. it's just i need to struggle for 1 more year juggling between work&sch&I AM DONE. Haha. then i'll concentrate on my career, save up, go overseas & further my studies, then freak out for a few years, then MAYBE migrate with friends. Even though i love my country, no other better place than this home, i think CHANGE is necessary :) i really love spending whatever time i have left in my hands volunteering with SINDA & IAEC & RCs. Kinda gives me this sense of fulfilment when i can help. & there's this new programme to coach indian students from schs who are on probation. Either help them with tutoring/organising weekend activities. I AM TOTALLY EXCITED. It's just the time factor now. Haven't really been sleeping well. Its friday & the last major thing i ate was LAKSA on monday for dinner. Been surviving on fruits n biscuits. But i am happy, coz i lost weight! It's just that it feels dizzy sometimes. HAHA. but being slim is better :) Some advice from a young adult like me: When you're young & passionate about something realistic, go for it. Serve the community when you have time. Always donate to charity when you have that extra cash in hands. A small help goes a long way :)

2011-01-25T02:14:00.000+08:00

I just ended my sch work. I should go & sleep right? Technically. Oh and i starved the whole day today! Like as if i seem smaller. Ok, i just got to KEEP UP THE GD JOB. Sinda registration was awesome fun. I like a lot :D Plus one friend into the list. She's 26 & happening! Ok, these people thought i was related to ANJALI in sollamale. I came home just to stare at my mirror la. Fck. I am not bragging but i am a lil smaller than her! LOL. OMG, monday was just sweet. I got to be up in 4 hours so i better finish off faster. Hmm. Today is gonna be crazy. Presentation must go well. I PRAY it ends early. I have hell a lot of work to finish for WED's lesson. I am TOO tired now. Just trying to give myself a break. These beautiful love songs are just TOO beautiful i say. & i can't wait for the next Sinda meeting :) Oh & i got appointed as VICE-CHAIRPERSON for IAEC. okay, honestly i told him i had no time for this. But he insisted i take it. So i said OKAY. Lol, yeah, i say okay for almost everything. As long he helps me along. There's a lot to learn. Really love the Sinda youth leaders & looking forward to the INDIA trip. AWESOME shit :D

Love it!

2011-01-24T16:58:00.003+08:00

Space Bound (EMINEM)

We touch, I feel a rush, we clutch, it isn't much

But it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us

It's lust, it's torturous, you must be a sorceress

'Cause you just did the impossible, gained my trust

Don't play games, it'd be dangerous if you fuck me over

'Cause if I get burnt, I'ma show ya what it's like to hurt

'Cause I've been treated like dirt befo' ya

And love is evil, spell it backwards, I'll show ya

Nobody knows me, I'm cold, walk down this road all alone

It's no one's fault but my own, it's the path I've chosen to go

Frozen as snow, I show no emotion whatsoever, so

Don't ask me why I have no love for these mo'fuckin' ho's

Blood suckin' succubuses, what the fuck is up with this?

I've tried in this department, but I ain't had no luck with this

It sucks, but it's exactly what I thought it would be

Like tryin' to start over

I've got a hole in my heart for some kind of emotional roller coaster

Somethin' I won't go on, so you toy with my emotions, ho, it's over

It's like an explosion every time I hold ya, I wasn't jokin' when I told ya

You take my breath away, you're a supernova and I'm a

CHORUS: I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon

And I'm aimin' right at you, right at you

250,000 miles on a clear night in June

And I'm aimin' right at you, right at you, right at you

I'll do whatever it takes, when I'm with you I get the shakes

My body aches when I ain't, with you I have zero strength

There's no limit on how far I would go, no boundaries, no lengths

Why do we say that until we get that person that we thinks

Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em, it's never the same?

You want 'em when they don't want you

Soon as they do, feelings change

It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate

I wasn't lookin' when I stumbled onto you, musta been fate

But so much is at stake, what the fuck does it take?

Let's cut to the chase

'Fore the door shuts in your face, promise me if I cave in and break

And leave myself open that I won't be makin' a mistake

'Cause I'm a

CHORUS

So after a year and 6 months, it's no longer me that you want

But I love you so much, it hurts, never mistreated you once

I'll pour my heart out to you, let down my guard, swear to God

I'll blow my brains in your lap, lay here and die in your arms

Drop to my knees and I'm pleadin', I'm tryin' to stop you from leavin'

You won't even listen so fuck it, I'm tryin' to stop you from breathin'

I put both hands on your throat, I sit on top of you, squeezin'

Til' I snap your neck like a Popsicle stick

Ain't a possible reason I can think of

To let you walk up out this house and let you live

Tears stream down both of my cheeks, then I let you go and just give

And before I put that gun to my temple, I told you this

And I would've did anything for you to show you how much I adored you

But it's over now, it's too late to save our love

Just promise me you'll think of me

Every time you look up in the sky and see a star 'cuz I'm a

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon & the chorus continues:)

2011-01-24T10:20:00.003+08:00

Every man has a breaking point. That marks my breaking point. How coincidental that my horoscope changed but that was the end. Now I'm a Capricorn. Honestly, the traits of a Capricorn suits me more than any other sign! And hell yeah, you rarely come across capricorns! Anyway, 23.01.2011 was a make it or break it day. Life decisions had to be made. And life has been settled. I'm kinda done with my life. Completing the life circle. Done with fb finally too. MSN and this blog's gonna take me from here. Though I might not be blogging too often, I'm not letting this harmless thing go! May god's blessings be with me, my family and all my loved ones. Yes i am promising to be that very girl i used to be 4 years back. I might have lost my identity along the way. Living all these lies. Then I tell myself, my life used to be more vibrant! So I'll be bringing all those happiness & everything back to everyone & myself! Enough of clubs, drinks and smokes. There's a point where some things have to stop & others have to get gg:) Yes it is a drastic move but i am totally happy if its gonna be for the better of me and you. Nothing you say is gonna bring me down! So shut up bitch! :D

2011-01-17T13:04:00.003+08:00

Okay sorry i forgot about my blog. Is that a good enough excuse for not blogging?! Like how people forget names, faces, blah blah blah. HELL YEAH! its 2011. Are u noticing smth very different about me? I am feeling the change big time. It's the year where my attitude's gonna be at it's peak! I'm letting all that sarcasm flow. It's best you take a step back & think before coming in my direction. I dun have much time left in my hands. I dunno where this path is going to take me to. But i'm going on freaking well. I love my people. That's the only concrete thing. the rest just comes and go, you included! So with all these talking & rumours going on, i am choosing to believe everything i am hearing and seeing. I am not gonna clarify any shit with anyone. I don't even trust your words, coz they come as a package, together with the lies! I dun need this, seriously! School is killing me. I cannot concentrate and i miss SLEEP BIG TIME. 6 hours a day is not sufficient for SLEEP and all the assignments and revision. Weekends are burnt. I miss the clubs :( I miss dancing the night away. Okay shit, lunch time has ended.BYEBYE!

2010-11-17T12:38:00.000+08:00

Today is wednesday. Cancelled everything i had tdy. I just felt like being at home. Then suddenly i wanna go out, coz things are not like how its suppose to be at home. wads wrng with me? i dunno wad i want at this point in time. so i am BLOGGING. yst, went for shisha at night with my loved ones. Only Gayu wasn't there. But there's always another time! i din really sleep enough the day before, i cldn't slp peacefully yst night. something is so wrong somewhere. I've got this feeling something so bad's gonna happen soon, and i'm preparing myself to take whatever pain tats gonna come along. I really cannot handle everything aredi. I need someone to be stronger than me to hold me. *breaking down point* tears are rolling down now. i'm trying to stop. It's a mixed thing. I am extremely angry, happy, sad, hurt, excited & anxious abt so many things arnd. Exams, work, school, love, friends, family and on top of it, the car. so what happens when everything clashes?? should i get help? At this point, i am not afraid of anything that's coming by. i dun care what happens to me. As long as things are gg in the right way for everyone arnd, i feel satisfied. I'm too tired to think. Is that a good or bad thing?!! You're not happy, u deal with me!! I can stand anything. I gave up on being worried and scared. I'm fighting for what's right, and i will, till the end.. There's so much to face in life. I'm not gonna waste a single minute. Life's a struggle. And if there's one thing that's keeping me strong, it's the thought that u'll be around for me. I love you a lot. I thank god for introducing u in my life. Looking at you makes me feel stronger even when i'm at my worst. all i can say is a big thank you. u really mean a lot. I wld be realistic. I'd love u all the way till i can. i won't betray in the NAME of LOVE. PEACE! ! !

2010-11-09T15:49:00.001+08:00

I am feeling weird today. But I am still a very happy person. Okay after a super busy weekend, i managed to drag myself to work on monday & tdy! I WAS LATE TDY! Blame the heavy rain, there was a HUGE jam luh. Damn it. I cannot wait for NOVEMBER 24th. Like seriously. haha. i'm not trying to brag but i think i'm not too bad for a female p-plate driver!! HAHA. its super exciting when a car stops beside u & some hot guy's in it & he gives u a BIG SMILE! haaha. it can make ur day!! then he tries to cruise along with u on the road! Like damn fun only eh!! and 24th is the day which i'm gonna RIP that triangle off!! It's a wednesday.. Hmm.. How about clubbing & celebrating? LOL. ahah. dunno yet uh.. Oh i clubbed on SAT night at dreams. It was CRAZY! Saw many ppl i din wanna see. I wld have gotten into a lot of trouble but somehow just managed to escapeee.. I really loved dancing the night away. It felt great. But the only thing i missed there, was you! :( I was practically screaming into Gu's face that i missed you! I think he was a lil tipsy also. On top of that sick also. But i got to thank tat wonderful bro for accompanying me to club! I din feel heavy after all the food i was stuffing into myself! Oh and i wanna lose a lil more weight. Just abt 3 or 4 kg! I will be the happiest person on earth! HAHA. Wrking towards it luh. I've got an EXAM tmr! It's 30% for the overall! God bless me! I'm gonna be an owl through the night.. No facebook, only TEXTBOOK! After tmr night, i'll chill a lil! But this weekend's gonna be jam pack with sch till sunday. Arggghhh. I miss you :(

2010-10-27T12:58:00.003+08:00

oh yes. sometimes i do smile and walk to myself. it's probably bcoz of you. its been over a year. I'm still all crazy over you. there's this one thing that keeps everyone going. In my case, it's probably falling for u over & over again. I never get tired of it. its just the kinda warmth & happiness you bring to my heart. It just feels simply wonderful with you. I LOVE YOU & i noe its not long but u really got me missing you just after the weekend! I dun feel like lunching today. Work has been driving me nuts lately. I guess its year end and there's gonna be lots of work. I'm a lil afraid, especially when I feel so pressured with assignments. I rarely complain abt studying. But working and studying is STRESSFUL. especially with so many other commitments, there's those moments when u just feel like shutting ur door, & screaming out loud in the room! oops, thats exactly wad i did while blasting my fav song! & i'm always stuck at work on saturdays. Oh and i'm in love with quite a few songs.. as usual, MUSIC DOESN'T LIE. it's the only thing that understands how you feel.. CRAPPY, but ya.. I'm ending here.. leaving a thought behind : Truth is everyone's gonna hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for! Damn, i miss you a lot. & i mean it :(

2010-10-18T12:59:00.001+08:00

It's lunch time & since i am fasting i am not eating & so i am blogging! I missed blogging man. Damn it! I missed blogging as much i missed u! i'm having terrible monday blues! Though it's just another beautiful day i juz feel so sick. It's as if i can feel my face turning green after typing that sentence out! There's one thing in life that practically blocks u from everything else. U noe that freaking feeling?! Oh trust me it sucks big time to have ur heart broken for long. Too long & it just becomes miserable. U can feel urself walking around with a heart that's just sinking. U can literally feel the pain and u dun really feel comfortable. What's left is just a heartless heart that refuses to feel for anyone in that way anymore! It's like ur mind telling u, " HEY haven't u already learnt ur lesson yet?!" Sometimes i just dun feel like saying anything. There are days which i go totally silent. Maybe, just like today. The kinda feeling that lasts a lifetime. Is this it? Oh i am sorry. I forgot that it's only me feeling this way. Because after all, u never kept ur words abt staying by. U left. You chose to! So it's time i stop being a fool and chasing after someone who left me standing all alone after spending so much time together. After going through countless memories and the good times, u chose to leave. With me having to go through the hard time all by myself. When i still cared and i'm still worrying abt u today, there u are with no clue in what state i'm in. I have to thank my girls who tried to pull me through this hard time. They tried so hard each time to make me feel better, but they knew me well enough that i'm not one who throws things away so easily. They never interfered with my feelings. Anyway, today here i stand keeping you in my prayers, hoping u do well each time in life, loving u as much as i did each day, but without wanting u to know anything anymore. I want u to think that what i had for u died. Anyway, it wldn't really matter to u whether i loved u or not. U left me with the deepest scar. It's painful my dear. Alright, back to work!

2010-10-03T01:42:00.000+08:00

It's nice noticing people & they just dun have a clue that u saw them! It was just my luck that i was around places where i rarely visit. IT WAS PURE luck. IT WAS great. anyways.. i just lost the momentum to blog. Maybe i shldn't just yet. Instead of posting and deleting those posts after realizing how demoralizing it can get, I SHLD JUST not post stuffs if i got nth nice to say. I got something nice to say here & now, I LOVE GOD. I love my life. I love MS FRIENDLY, MS SUNSHINE & MS CHATTERBOX. To all these single ladies, pls find a way into my life now. I need you. Coz this wound is taking a long time to heal! ALRIGHT, bedtime. I got to read a story to myself b4 sleeping. How important!! SAYONARA!

2010-08-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

PATIENCE. I was doing furious breathing exercises in the morning to calm myself down. I WAS MAD at him. MAD LIKE SIAO!!! irritating. I'm sry i had to do it! ANYWAY thank god it was friday. Not as bad as i thought it would be! WOOOOOHOOO. i am excited abt tmr. i'll talk abt wad happened tmr, TMR. TODAY is TODAY. just like YST was YST! and just like nero is as INSANE as EVER! haha and i am gonna doze off now coz i am sleepppy. & freeaking cramps are killing me. SATURDAY's gonna be awesome i guess. I LOVE BRUNO MARS! his songs are lovely. Just downloaded 12 of them. going to bed to listen. OH and did i mention i have to go back to work tmr?? SIGHHHHS. i feel like erupting now! BYEE :((

2010-08-12T23:48:00.000+08:00

Its gonna be FRIDAY the 13th in a few minutes. The week passed so fast, and i'm left with almost nothing, literally. but i've got a sack of stress, a bundle of confusion and a pail of tears. TATS ALL. dun expect anything more or LESS from me! I AM CORNERED, I AM HELPLESS. Not yet useless/hopeless i believe! Crazy finance assignment due tmr! THANK YOU vicky for helping me out with tat crazy question! i've got a case study left. Trying to relieve stress here. F*cking tired! Consumer behaviour report due on monday. my GOD. work is going like siao! I can't take it. BUT no excuse lor. I missed so many meetings and i dun really care abt it at the moment. DEFINITELY not my week. NO peace till monday. PEACE out to other souls at least. GOD BLESS & HAVE AN AWESOME WEEEEEKEND!

2010-08-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

It's gonna be the end of monday. It feels like sunday. Hopefully with just 4 more days left, the week will past fast.. Anyway after all the talking today, i'm just afraid. I'm sorry but i will be moving away and never coming back. That's the end of story! I love my brother and G NESH SCOTT for some very obvious reasons! I'll stick to them, from today. Dun need no other one, all i need is them. END OF STORY :)

2010-08-05T23:18:00.001+08:00

It feels as if the sky is falling. Do u feel it? I feel the dark clouds covering the beautiful blue sky. & the rain comes down POURING just like ____. Do u get what i'm trying to say? Please enlighten me, coz i dunno what i'm saying. YES, i'm definitly NOT ok. but NO i will be OK! again? confused???! nah just tired.. good night! :(

2010-08-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! it feels so good to hit the keys on my keyboard after sucha long tym! like i got my life back. OKAY, i cut myself away from most people for a month or so. I feel better! I WAS SUPPOSED to blog a lot today but i am very distracted now! SHIT! she kissed him! FRAEKING DUMBASS!! haha. oh but sunday was great at gugu's house wif the rest for PRAYERS. so peaceful. & i watched SINGAM at his place for the very first time! I noe very outdated la... but wad to do, NO TYM! then go home. rush to meet cousin bro with my bro. went walking arnd. bumped into arseholes! then i finally bought my samsung camera & i love it many many. it's pink just like my samsung notebook which i got last week. I HATE pink AND I ended up with two pink shit! i got a string on my leg. Marks the friendship/brotherhood! it's green, i like it. bought a new sofa, it's black & pink for $1450. pretty cool. ate pizza hut for dinner. not too bad for a sunday. Now i end up going out on sundays coz i dun have a choice! WEEKDAYS are pack like crap. i am freaking tired now. Thanks for the songs vicky. And i am going to sleep now. i miss blogging. but nvm uh, better not waste time. sleep is more important... NITEZZZZZZZZZZ.

♥ Don't worry about what u've lost, treasure what you have left before it's gone too!

2010-07-10T04:16:00.001+08:00

AND THIS IS ONE ON MY FAVOURITES!

THE HIGHLIGHTED PARTS ARE THE ONE I REPEATEDLY SING & KILL PEOPLE WITH ;P

Un Perai Sollum Bodhe Ull Nenjil Kondaatam
Unnodu Vaazhathaane Uyir Vaazhum Poraatam
Nee Paarkum Bodhe Mazhai Aaven
Un Anbil Kanneer Thuli Aaven
Nee Illai Endraal En Aaven
Neruppodu Vendhe Mann Aaven
Un Perai Sollum Bodhe Ull Nenjil Kondaatam
Unnodu Vaazhathaane Uyir Vaazhum Poraatam
Nee Illai Endraal En Aaven
Neruppodu Vendhe Mann Aaven
Nee Perazhagil Por Nadathi Ennai Vendraai
Kann Paarkum Bodhe Paarvaiyaale Kadathi Chendraai
Naan Pennaaga Pirandhadharku Artham Sonnaai
Mun Ariyaadha Vekkangal Neeye Thandhaai
En Ulagam Thanimai Kaadu, Nee Vandhaai Pookalodu
Ennai Thodarum Kanavugalodu, Penne Penne
Nee Illai Endraal En Aaven
Neruppodu Vendhe Mann Aaven

Un Karungoondhal Kuzhalaagathaan Ennam Thondrum
Un Kaadhoram Uraiyaadithaan Jenmam Theerum
Un Maarbodu Saayum Andha Mayakkam Podhum
En Manadhodu Serthu Vaitha Valigall Theerum
Un Kaadhal Ondrai Thavira, En Kaiyil Ondrum Illai
Adhai Thaandi Ondrume Illai, Penne Penne
Nee Illai Endraal En Aaven
Neruppodu Vendhe Mann Aaven

2010-07-10T04:09:00.000+08:00

I am now exactly at Northpoint starbucks now. The wireless connection here is fucking awesome. Yes i am freaking tired. Studied a little. Thankfully i brought my lappy along, if not i wld have fallen asleep. I'm wif umzy & gayu here. It smells of coffee here!! LIKE DUH!! yucks. anyway, my inbox is full. Are friday nights the official day which ppl think about me? Erm, i replied to 3 out of 4. I am sorry, i am still confused whether i should speak yo you! Janelle msged me an hour back. Her flight to canberra is tmr morning. I am gonna miss her! I'll try to send her off if i can. it's not even 4am yet, and i am fucking tired. GRRRRR. Ram & lava are over at my place. I vacuumed the house, washed the toilet, cleaned the hamster cage & the house is SUPER clean. HOPE & PRAY it remains the same once i get back in the morning. Haiz.. I am seriously not bothered about fb. dun waste ur tym telling me to activate it! the sad ANNOYING part is that i get updates even when i'm not in it. Grrrrrrrr, no peace of mind. Anyway work at gateway building is BEAUTIFUL. and i clubbed finally. First time was fucking awesome on wednesday night. Saturday night was a blunder! i had fun though. thanks to him! Saw sham & gang who stared like nobody's business!!! Fucking pissed! News wld have reached his ears that i was at the club! I had enough of clubbing for now. I'll go again during end of sept. OH AND yes my ex is attached with HIS EX GALFREN! It's not me so ya, dun have to get paranoid on my behalf. I AM COOL about it! the story goes smth like: I told him i loved somebody, and he proved himself to be a MAN and got attached in a week :) I like this kinda life. The revenge & everything! He proved that he never changed & as childish as ever! Anyway my life is going awesome. I LIKE IT! BYE BYEEE!

2010-06-30T12:09:00.005+08:00

Yes. I am obviously too free at work now! Practically shaking my leg here. I got confirmed yesterday. Managers were saying i'm productive or wadeva crap & do my work fast. they dun get it that I GET FREAKING BORED EASILY! They wish i stay on longer and not leave. I told them at least not for 2 years. They asked about my future plan. I told them that i wanna join the force after my degree! LOL. Their jaws dropped in disbelief! HAHHAHAH. today i came into work at 9.30am. Polyclinic was PACK like crap. Again i took a cab down to wrk. It's worth it for my one day's pay. Not too bad actually. Better than driving/squeezing in the train. And that's all my excuses i have coz i've not recovered. The wound's bleeding, ever since i came back to work. I think sitting down for long hours is the issue. BUT I OBVIOUSLY CAN'T be standing like a monkey throughout the day. I'm kinda blessed to be in this job. People arnd are awesome. It's been 3 whole months aredi. Not bad, time's passing by so fast nowadays. Next two modules are BUSINESS FINANCE and CONSUMER BEHAVIOUR! Woooohooo, excited! Starting on 5th july. can't wait to get back to school. Studying is AWESOME:) can get to see angel on mondays. And other lesson's on tue. So i'll have the rest of the evenings for myself. WONDERFUL. hmmm. friday night's gonna be a blast i guess. i need to buy a camera & speakers. iPOD TOUCH's not so crucial, but i will get it. It's like i see all the money now and i dun feel like spending. DAMN! nvm, saving is good too. Then i can buy a beautiful house & car for myself. DREAM BIG! i wanted to club so badly. MAYBE tonight? or tmr night? or sat night? or next week? GRRRRRRR. got matches to watch, then how? HAIZ. stress.. haha. and i wanna go shopping so badly. no time uh. and i dun wanna hurt the wound even more. I WANT IT TO HEAL FAST! SUNDAY is my only free day & hell NO i am not getting out. i wanna sleeeeeeep. Oh and i succesfully closed facebook. I dun want that time-wasting addictive shit to ruin my life, happiness and everything else. MUHAHAHA. I must exercise self discipline. VERY IMPORTANT! especially with my school starting, i shld spend my time on studying and reading up more to expand my GENERAL knowledge. CHEY!! i should go back to serious web-surfing. & I WANT MY DISTINCTIONS BACK! i'm planning to go on hoidays, after my wound has completely HEALED. probably to HongKong/Australia. in september i guess! and if i ever buy a car, i WILL NEVER get a KIA PICANTO, unless it comes as a free gift!! Yes it's still a car, but NO!!!!! coz i dun wanna regret on the road with tat pathetic car in a few months! It's still between a Nissan, toyota/honda! Yes i am an evil bitch, how about you?!!!!! HAHAH. ADIOZZZ, it's LUNCH TIME BAYBEH! :)

2010-06-25T00:41:00.001+08:00

FRIDAY is here. It is mummy's birthday. First time in 19 years, i'm not celebrating it with her. Miles apart! the only thing i could do was to wish her. i think 19 is a bad number for me. i can't wait to turn 20! the worst of all things happened when i'm 19. damn i've got 7+ months of hardship to endure. i believe 20 will be better! i have been freaking bored at home. prefer working i swear. worse is tat i am on holidays. NO SCHOOL. but once all starts, i'll start crying! i am bored of XBOX. HAHA. as of now, Italy's losing! LOL. TOOO BAD! they cried man. I am gonna head to bed soon. I love the song AMPLIFIER by Imran Khan. I wanna go to Amsterdam, it's beautiful! I am happy for this new man. his name is Mr healthy. It feels so good to noe tat he's turning healthier. It's very good for him. HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY! Hopefully he'll see good changes & remain as healthy as ever! I am miles away from being healthy! SUPER DUPER FAR! Ok ya, i am gonna sleep now. I am talking too much rubbish! as i aredi said, i am full of crap. Just tired. Super tired. EYES are closing now. I MEAN NOWW!! good night :)

2010-06-24T00:59:00.000+08:00

Then about life. I watched RAVANAN, the most awaited movie. Erm u won't understand the concept unless you understand the moral value hidden behind it. ERM, fck everything else, i think aishwarya rai's character was a blast! i loved it. and i'd rather she live with ravanan then RAMAN! hahahaha. ridiculous shit. anyway movies aside. i so badly wanted to watch singam. URGGHH. no one's bringing me :( but till today, surya's stealing my heart. wait. probably 3/4 of the female population's heart!!!! and i dunno if everything's okay yet? but it's good if things get better between everyone, so it'll be easier to get out together. i got drunk officially for the 3rd time without him. i was in a pure mess. i'll never get drunk again, unless he's there to take care of me. it's a promise i am making to myself. i keep on saying this and this time, i have to be serious. i dun wanna put up shows for everyone else. i dun mind if he ends up being my enemy, but i trust him more than myself and anyone else when i get drunk. i am just full of rubbish ever since he left. Just lost. It's taking so long to heal. It is still hurting. I am still bothering. THIS IS SO WRONG, THAT SHOULD BE ME! JB's dance moves in somebody to love was awesome. Hmmm, the song sounds rather desperate though. ok enough. seriously, i was so happy when i was at the hospital. i found a reason to smile in all that pain i was in. How thankful can i be to him? ERM, i miss him a lot. like crazy. it's been the longest since i heard/saw him. but lets leave it to time to heal stuffs. i guess there's a reason for things to happen. There's a reason why people dun want me, so i just got to accept the fact and try to move. MOVE is the thing tat so hard for me to do. Coz LOVE is the thing stopping me. Just glad as long things are good with him. I must try to heal things within me. the words MUST & TRY just dun go along. HAHA. I'm such a messy piece. LQTM(laugh quietly to myself)! PEACE OUT!

2010-06-23T23:32:00.010+08:00

I am still going through recovery. i'm talking about the hospital recovery. It is uncool to be admitted for the first time in 19 years. you won't know how to handle ur feelings. u'll just cry, like what i did. the hole is 4cm deep. it's painful when i go down to get my dressing changed everyday. with them away, i'm finding it hard to take care of myself, the house, and everything else. i've got till saturday to rest. i promised my company that i'll be there for the annual dinner on sat. i want them back now! and now here i am, with two world cup matches running, with XBOX on the go, with my two awesome cousins who came over to accompany me. it won't be for long. I know this so well. Yes nero, it's over, stop playing another game! I am a pretty confused dumbhead. HAHA. :S

2010-06-06T02:58:00.000+08:00

I missed you a lot. Life is going on. Time's not gonna stop for anyone. Yup anything more u have to say? Any other faults u wanna find in me? Go ahead! I am not ur perfect barbie doll. THANKS a lot for understanding me so well. Stop hurting people with ur words, just coz u r doing okay. I am still recovering! You already spoke a lot & i've got nothing left to say! All those words are replaying everyday. God bless everyone! I'm waiting for my exams to end on 17th of june. This is officially my last post till then. I've updated facebook. Won't be touching it till the 17th. Take care everybody. Oh and with the evil flu bug going around, TAKE MORE CARE. And to the one i loved, things will get better for you. One day u'll be so successful with all those talents. We both know that things are in a mess now. we'll probably be strangers soon enough and pretend we never knew each other. Its okay, lets meet in the future as successful individuals! THE FUTURE, ahahahaha, i even have my after-life planned out. oh, i almost forgot that was also in god's hands. HAHA. fuck. ALRIGHT, great week ahead! HAPPY holidays :)

2010-06-01T01:02:00.000+08:00

WOOHOOOO. 3 posts were removed coz i got screwed for posting such stuffs. HAHA. it's demoralizing. Super duper! I just realised. coz he & she said, dun feel bad for something that wasn't ur fault. It's nobody's fault. It's the way life goes. HAHA, that sounded sensible. I guess i was stupid when i posted those stuffs.. Be happy wif everything that comes along. I AM. i am gifted with the best blessings. just coz i lost a friend, the world doesn't end there. there are many other reasons to be happy with life. ok 1 reason why i'm, fucking hyper is coz SCH'S OFFICIALLY OVER and i'm now on two week's exam break. SO its just purely me, my AWESOME work & self-study time &.. It's getting hot in here. Smoking hot! i mean, i need the aircon. Dumb weather. WAITING FOR UR CALL. meanwhile, bloggingg. hopefully i dun shut down. as in go to sleeeep. Yoga's marching for NDP. i'm gg for it for sure.. and i wanna catch SINGAM . AND i am going for shisha on JUNE 18. I AMMM for sure!! and i guess i'll be driving then. EVEN better sia! anyone can join in. BUT strictly, no one is allowed to look in that direction! COZ I WANT :))) and i am gonna club in JUNE. i've picked the date. place is not to be revealed.. OK i got to be alive till the end of june please, coz it's party time from june 17th to july 5th! and i'm going to NLB with lavu tmr after my work. After a long tym. Miss her & all her sensible talking. The lady with the looks and the brains, that lavu! I miss RAM ANNA! so i'm chatting with him now. Gd night gayu. And yeah, i kept down the phone aredi, we shall continue settling our issues tmr! GOOOD sweet NIGHT dreams. IF YOU'VE GOT NO ENEMIES, U'VE GOT NO CHARACTER! i have plenty of both. LOL, good/bad, YOU DECIDE! ADIOZ!

2010-05-23T01:38:00.004+08:00

Now back to my real life! I watched Robin Hood last weekend with lava, ram anna & his 3 frens. damn long movie. i was shivering with fever! i went for a manicure session before tat. pretty blue nails. i just had to make myself feel better. i was on MC on monday. mum took half day to bring me to family doctor. his medicine's wrk so well! i recovered pretty fast. oh yeah, i wanna smoke. i noe its smth i stopped totally last year. just that stressed up shit. friday after wrk went to arab street for shisha with azillah and matthew! haha. matt suggested buying a pack. i and azil said "HELL NO, we hav stopped!" so ya, shishaaaa-ed till 8.30pm. then went home! went over to gayu's house at 10.30pm on friday night. studied. my exams are in three weeks time!! then left at 3am. coz i had to go back to work on sat morning at 9am. lol, too tired. so i took a cab down!! so i missed the talk in the afternoon. i'm getting into this 14week course thingy. U'll get a cert upon completion. All sponsored! after completing the course, got to go down to changi prison to speak to hindu inmates! before u begin the course, they bring u into the prison to show u how its being held! about two counselors to a group of 25 inmates. if u dun think u can handle, u can always back out before the course! moreover it will help me when i plan to join the police force/prisons department in future! it is pure volunteerism. So yeah, it's nice. When u see convicts change, it makes u feel satisfied that u made a difference in people's lives. Today's sunday. It's thatha's one year death anni prayers in the morning, got to be in AMK by 9am. i miss him a lot. then got to be at the airport arnd 4pm. Matthew's flying off to Aust for his pilot training. Sunday's gonna fly by. Next week got to submit my two major reports at sch. FINAL week for sch before my exam break! Monday got IAEC deepavali meeting. Work is gg great. Lily is leaving on thurs. so there's gonna be farewell lunch. Vesak day's on friday. Putting death prayers over at my house. Then got to go to Tua Pek Kong temple in the afternoon. Tues and thurs got last lessons!! how can i miss the best thing? pay's comin in. but crap luh. i'll save this and freak out in june. oh and i'm planning to invest on an i-TOUCH :) & I can't go into facebook till i end exams. Ok, i need to sleep now! great week people! :)

2010-05-23T00:59:00.002+08:00

20th MAY 2010!!!! Much issues! FUCK U FIRST, LJ!!!! this post's gonna be filled with stuffs u ppl dun understand. so just ignore this whole thing. it's just to remind me when & what happened!! Who the fuck are u to scold me? You scoundrel! you're bringing up an issue that happened a month back? Are u out of ur fucking mind? it was only that fucking once when i called u. Before even i called you, she alreadi knew i was gonna call! She din want u to noe we're talking, so i listened to her & din let u noe!! I din even talk to her in a MONTH! as if i was fucking free to call her everyday and tell her, OH FUCK, he's a FUCKING bad guy?!! u had the fucking cheek to call and screw me?! wtf are u thinking? YOU ARE GUILTY! As a fren, she knew wad was happening, and i had nth to hide from her! IN THE END, she powtho my name, and put me in such a state. So much for a friendship we shared. But wait, i'm not angry tat she used my name! But if you both are thinking its a damn funfair to now use me as the cause of ur break up, then get back together, its seriously ur damn business! FINAL CONCLUSION, i'm never talking to u both again! u think i got nth better to do?! then go fuck urself first. U bloody hell dun screw me like tat! Its the first time this is happening in my life! Coz everyone is lying everywhere. i have no reason to be afraid U FUCKER! count on ur lucky stars that i was at work when i got ur call! All i said was, "dun waste my time"! And u think ur curse is gonna wrk out, go on cursing!! I dun give a damn if ur fren made use of me, or doesn't like me coz i've a fucking big mouth! in the end it came out from ur mouth, that he made use of me. anyway, i was blindly loving someone & tat was my fault. I dun give a damn now if he likes me/hate me! coz if now he can't accept me for who i am AS A FREN, its really not a worry for me! I noe myself 100% better & i dun hav to give anyone an explanation for any reason! I was so mad!! U were not satisfied with scolding me, still wanna threaten me with ur msg? U think i'm scared of you?! haha. just coz i look like some scared shit, i'm not afraid of such stuffs at all. i look like some doll for u to vent ur anger on isit?! U think i wld have the fucking cheek to open my FUCKING BIG MOUTH, and then tag u in the photo in facebook?!! U think i got no brains? i think u got no brains, i think you are not even THINKING! u wanna make things worse, go ahead! i'll see how far u go in life with such attitude. Coz u dun treat others with respect, u're gonna get shit back! wait till u step into NS! u're talking as if u always respected her feelings?! Talk if you're right fucker! U think a guy's curse is powerful, TRY A GIRL'S CURSE! i have never scolded anyone in my life so terribly. it makes me feel better, for all the unwanted scoldings i got. i probably heard abt 30"fucks" and 10"cb" in tat 10min convo. RAAABAAH! I only noe one thing, i've learned how to be very vulgar this year, but i din scold him on the phone! at least i still got the basic respect that he's a "man"! if i had scold him there, it wld hav made no difference! Thank god i din lose my temper. I cld understand his anger. BUT NO EXCUSE for scolding a girl until like tat, unless u noe the full story! I am still not guilty coz i did NO mistake, i shldn't be sad/angry. I am cool NOW. Life is beautiful. For one last tym, GO AND FUCK URSELF! wooohooo. Sry for all the unpleasant vulgarities, if u actually went true the pain of reading till HERE! this is the end! :)

2010-05-12T22:33:00.001+08:00

It is raining SUPER freaking heavily. When i use the word freaking, i just simply mean the four-letter word. Too many vulgarities can be a turn off! Restrictions. You have to. Some things. Anyway, i'm not exactly fuming mad/ boiling! but pretty much annoyed.. I swear i'm not having any problems with my life, coz i can handle my own LIFE. coz i dun enjoy making people miserable and i am doing perfectly well! The only problem i can think of would be, what to wear to wrk tmr?!!! And for the 100000000000th time, for goodness sake, DON'T TEST MY PATIENCE. i have been pretty cool abt stuffs. pretty quiet. Arguments & quarrels are just too noisy, and i'm totally avoiding them in my life. For a good two years, i never argued my way thru anything. I just don't talk/ignore/totally make u seem invisible if there is a need to. Its a simple policy, u stay away, i'll stay away! I really don't have much tym to waste. I've got better things to do in life. Seriously, if u have the guts to speak, then have the balls to say it infront of me! You bunch of childish bastards shld seriously GET A LIFE. And my dear CB, if you're just a spoiled brat seeking for pleasure, get a life! I DON'T OWE ANYONE a LIVING! and one more last thing to my dear friends, ALWAYS listen to both sides of the story. Just bcoz one asshole can paint a picture very well, it doesn't mean the other party is at fault. HAHA. Actually u urself are so insensitive to feelings, how would u be able to feel for others?? Have a great life! Off for the day....... It's not abt being sweet, it's about being sensible - nero :)

2010-05-11T13:06:00.001+08:00

It's lunchtime! everyone's gone and here i am blogging. coz this is probably the only website not blocked in office. Facebook's blocked, youtube's blocked! NO LIFE luh. Let me be very frank abt something. I cannot cope with a full time job and school. It's just too exhausting! It's really a brain drain! I dun even feel like looking at my books after work. I won't be failing, i can't be so stupid to waste my time and money. But i want the good grades. Being the youngest at work & sch, i feel so fucked up. Its better to be just studying at this age and not squeezing wrk in!! ya anyway, being at home's just gonna make me go mad seeing that ridiculous face of his! I can't wait for two years to fly by to move out! I'd rather live myself. I can handle it! For the time being, i'm rarely even home. Wrk & sch. Dance competition is another thing on my head. Just completed the poster, done with the name, registration forms & terms & connds. Will be out by end of the week! This week's intensive classes! weekends will be drained for lessons! the thought of gg to sch tonight's killing me now itself! ARGGHH. anyway, i decided to celeb munz birthday. din wanna push it any longer, coz he was there for mine. and at 18, i can understand how happy he wld be! It was damn great! Spend abt $250 in total i guess. Money was nvr an issue. I'm getting my pay, but how fucking pathetic can it be tat i dun even hav the time to spend my money. I LOVE munzy's personalised ringtone for me. I LIKE. then was talking to gayu yst nyt. She's is a major shock. After she told me, now i am havin a major heart attack. People & relationships, FRIENDSHIPS most importantly, suck big time. i was independent all along. never felt the strong need for friendships even, coz they usually end up in crap. after all, human relationships are one of the most insecure things on earth. i'm happy with gayu, oh and munna of course! Things won't last. Even the best things have endings! i am aware of that. won't cry for long. and now i've got no time to complete all i want to say coz i got to get BACK TO WORK. NICE, sweet, fuckingAWESOME life.

2010-04-27T22:16:00.000+08:00

Oh yes. Here i am alive. The past weekend was supposed to be HAPPY. erm, supposed to be.. I took out the nissan latio on friday night after a damn long day of wrk. Went to buy the stuffs needed on friday nyt for BBQ. got lost in orchard. fetched dad aft wrk. was one of the best cars i rented. It was the third. 1st was the H matrix, 2nd was the S swift and finally this Black beauty. a nissan latio. i used to love the nissan latio sports edition.. then fri nyt met Gugu. we went to lavu's place. uma was aredi there! drove out for supper. watched tv till abt 4am plus. then, we drove home.. I was exhausted! woke up at 9am. had to go woodlands to meet shanks, appoorva & pin ye. It was great. Saw them after 1 year 3 mnths. HAHA. so exact. great girls from jc! Then rushed home to pick up ppl and go collect bbq food. then went off to the pit. i felt very tired. seriously. THEN i got a msg that LIT MY WORLD. i was excited. freaking tired but still waited all night. After 2 whole weeks, it was good to see you. But it's okay. Things have changed i guess. Now u probably dun even wish to talk to me. i understood. Driving home with hot fresh tears wasn't cool at all. I looked like a goldfish on sunday. went to meet azil, matt and james. Fever came crashing in. So sick. Was on MC on monday. Went to work today, ended at 7pm. Din go to school, came home. Time to sleeeeeep. I want the weekend/ at least fri to come. I dun feel good. I need to meet my life savers! I will be okay. Hopefully...

2010-04-18T22:41:00.025+08:00

I was pulling through each day. I din noe where I was going to end up. I still never gave up. NOW everyday, all I do to make myself feel better is to remind myself that you only wanted me as a friend. I'm sry coz when I fell in love with you, I was completely in love. Now I'm finding it so hard to handle my feelings. I'm smiling and fooling around. Hoping that the pain will go away. Yes, all you needed was the company. That's the reason why you stayed on & now you're gone. Everyone noes I like you, but I guess they dunno why i fell for you. That's a lot of memories to bring along with me thru my life. Thanks for bringing me to places i have never been to before. Thanks for all the time spent. All those long nights I'd never forget. Letting me talk everything i want after drinks & taking care of me. You made me feel so safe. It was after a long time, i felt better. Smth precious to be treasured forever. I wld daringly say that you were the only guy whom I spent my time with, without any fear. You knew everything abt me & I thought it was okay. I'd never do this again. Coz it hurts when people disappear. I believe you found someone better and left. It's the worst feeling anyone can get. But i'm not gonna say anything anymore. Everyone has the right to make their own choices. A brand new week with the same crap everyday. Can it be any worse?

2010-04-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

Life. Destiny. Fate. Things always happen. Nobody noes why and how. It will hurt, but hope you get over it. Life has to go on. It hurts to see you hurt. I've cried, I've lost someone in life. It's just painful. May your soul rest in peace. I think he was too good to live any further in this disgusting world. Everything's in a mess. People enter and leave your life like no one's business. we dun have control over anything. The past one week or so has been bad. Quite bad. Workload is getting heavier. Sch assignments are piling up. Intensive lessons were fine though. Went over to clementi. Felt better after meeting her. And each and everyday i end up in the corner of my room crying for so many reasons. I dunno. UNFAIR. really unfair world. F*ck it. Thanks to the clique & every single one who kept me going. Much appreciated.

2010-04-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

Friday was good friday. Parents left. Bro, me & cousin met up to go to grandma's place. i din want to. Was pissed off. Went to yishun hilltop at night with my fren. was a beautiful place with damn steep scary slopes!! Was in a mess again. as usual. when u just dun control and drink, it happens.. Today was aradhana semi finals. Munz & jeev's group did well. Especially they both just ROCKED the stage. AWESOME. then went over to lavu's house. I love the rabbits!! haha. gayu, arun, gugu & me were the last to leave. Went to eat hershey's pie wif gugu & gayu. Talked abt stuffs. went to sengkang, then Home.. I just found out smth. ERM i'm just getting used to the pain. i'm alreadi broken, u're just stepping on the broken pieces further. WORK tmr & my eyes are gonna hurt when i wake up. This keeps on happening nowadays. My luck.. NITEZzZzZz.

2010-04-01T23:07:00.002+08:00

APRIL FOOL's day. in other words, MY BIG DAY. coz i'm a fool.. it was the first day of work. Was okay uh, nth much.. Just returned from entrepreneurship class. It's late. I'm exhausted. I don't like my lecturer. She's HORRIBLE. dammit luh.

2010-03-29T23:12:00.002+08:00

I thought he was the one. Did my thought go wrong???? anyway PANGUNNI! OMG. it was awesome. after 3 years, i'm going for it. I prefer this to thaipusam. Coz can KAYSIAO more! hahahaha. then wad else. saw lots of people who i noe from afar!! hmm.. followed only one kavadi. Munzy's frens. jeevan was there. he played drums damn well! Super freaking funny group. Laughed my ass off! Nice people. Thankfully din bump into anyone i noe at all! I loved the day! all of them danced really well. LONG LOST matthew msged. he was missing for 2 weeks plus!!! I'm happy for him coz he's signing on with the air force as a PILOT! Time for celebrations! But i'm kinda packed till sunday. Probably the next weekend. Tmr is the start of SCHOOL FINALLY! Will be leaving home at 7am to the WEST. will be home at 11pm after school! :)

♥ STOP. BREATHE. CRY IF YOU MUST!

2010-03-28T23:53:00.001+08:00

SUNDAE. i felt like eating hot fudge sunday. LOL! that was how hot the damn weather was. Went to mediacorp to help out with ushering. ERM.. quite boring actually. i wore the pretty heels! The freaking long bus journey back home made me sick! i felt like puking. I came home & rest for a while. EXHAUSTED! then had night plans. me & bro met up with ram at 9pm. crapped all the way under blk. Then went to his house! Chitti made us thosai! with the chicken curry, it tasted gd. YUMMY! then play XBOX, the shooting & killing thingy. then take pictures. then wooohooo, we're planning to meet on fri & freak out! sunday was GOOD :)

♥ BABY, before you know it, I'll be GONE!

2010-03-27T23:50:00.002+08:00

SATURDAY madness! I went to donate BLOOD! Ram ANNA was supposed to come but was sleeping at home! RAWR!! so i went alone. but surprisingly it was so empty for a sat. I happily donated. I love the way people treat you there. SO kind, so sweet, with all those beaming smiles. ahhh.. made my day. then rushed off to clementi. i felt a lil dizzy though! Settled down for delicious lunch. then drove off to fetch uncle. WOOOHOO. saturdays are driving days. then left for home in the evening :( i was soooo reluctant to leave. i prefer that home. Anyways, home was pretty boring. NO ONE home. made maggi me for my dinner. the day ended pleasantly. I LOVE & miss you SO much. DAMN!

2010-03-26T23:24:00.001+08:00

I have a well paying permanent job in my hands, i'm gonna pursue my degree with much happiness. My determination will bring me through this. I've got to teach tuition twice a week on my available evening slots. I've got no time for the outside world. I'm gonna BLOCK people out from my life, just like how we do it in MSN. i'll either just block, or block & delete them totally. Those who mean a lot, will always continue to be a part of my life. I've got two important add-ons on my meeting up list. that's shanks & joe! i dunno if i'll have the time now. Pardon me! And to you my love. It is nice to love someone who just won't love u back after all. It taught me how to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return. I felt good. But i guess, it just hurt & killed me too much. Now i'm just feeling so cold. I need to sleep. I need my tears to calm my soul all over again. Love was never meant for me! It just made me weaker.

2010-03-25T20:38:00.001+08:00

Today is thursday! Like duh! A day that i'd never forget. Went to meet Haren with Gayu, gugu & mum. I miss him, I missed him. I should not have. I felt so terrible. Controlled myself. I'm keeping him in my prayers from today onwards. I pray that things inside go well for him. Coz he has a good heart. A heart too good, better than gold. God will help those with good heart. God, please don't play him out. He needs you! It was a day of mixed feelings. Too tired for anything. Tears are swelling my eyes up. I have a god damn interview tmr! I need to sleep. I need a peace of mind. I have been TOTALLY disturbed. i deserve it.

2010-03-24T23:21:00.002+08:00

Yes, Pure rain outside. Tears flooding my room inside. Oops. Over exaggerated! Just can't stop it. Keeps flowing. All i'm hoping & praying for that it hurts less. Coz i'm breaking apart. Thank you very much for everything!

2010-03-23T19:39:00.001+08:00

BACK ALIVE! Been away for sometime. For very good reasons. If you're trying to find out what's happening, u can go and bang ur head on the wall coz blog updates are meant to entertain ppl & not for u to poke ur bloody nose into my life! The past few days or so has been GREAT. wait, firstly, today is JAMES' birthday. HE is a gem of a friend! After wishing him at 12MN, the concern idiot's reply was, "EH wad happen? i just saw ur fb. U ok or not?" It's like who bothers abt other's problems on their birthday? James always did! Okay, wad else. Met azillah, the clique, the love of my life in the west. Yes, it was perfect! driving just made me smile from east to west! Thank you so much for allowing me to in the first place! These perfect people never fail to SPICE UP my ruined life! Long talks on the phone late into the night. Hopefully, it made u feel better. Though i just made u so damn worried a few days back. Sry abt that. Sometimes going with the flow is hard. Different people grew up with different morals & values. Not feeling for others is just cruelty! Pure selfishness. You thought u cld have all of it for urself, but u failed to realise that u have to care & share. U got to feel for others if not one day u're gonna cry so hard when everyone leaves you. On the meeting up list is, (RAM,LAVA&SELVA), janelle, farhanaLADYLOVE, ranjaniPIGLET, (james,matthew&azillah) & ANGEL SEAH! but that's not of an issue, coz it'll be easier from next week. ERM, LOVE IS IN THE AIR. Just breathe in and out can aredi. HAHA. BYEBYE, will update TMR!

♥ It's a CRUEL world out there. Just keep the ones who TREAT YOU RIGHT & move on with life.

2010-03-09T23:26:00.001+08:00

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT post. COZ I SAID SO! lalalala. in high spirits today. Lets start from the bad stuffs. I got paranoid at 2am. I could not sleep till 5am. To all bustards who put me in this state, you'll have to face the consequences one fine day! Because shorty is a eenie meenie miney more LOVER! I love Justin Bieber & not YOU! THAT's the end of the bad stuffs. NOW gd stuffs. I went to potong pasir siva durga temple. ok it is a big deal bcoz i have never been there before! so i went with saras. decided to put lemon for god. i'm praying she lets my soul be in peace! Ok the good news is they called from HR from SATS. i got the job. i have to go down on friday to sign the bond. i called mum to take 1/2 day leave coz i was under 21. DAMMIT! -__- the thought of it pisses me off!! hmm. wad else? GAYU ended exam. I had to meet her so badly. POUR OUT ALL THE FEELINGS locked inside for 3 weeks. i din want to disturb her coz it was her exams. she reacted very differently! I LOVE IT, i love her! We are nice people, we will teach people a lesson in the best way. she's posted to CGH, sadly not OCH! Yoga's enlisting today, wish him the best of luck! yay, i love my girls & my guy frens of course! Thanks to all who helped me out in a way. Brothers & sisters, i love you all! I dun forget people who've helped me out in my life at least once. I miss secondary sch suddenly. ALL THE AWESOME ppl i met there. Old is gold baybeh! & to the shawty, ur love life is in a mess, go handle ur life before poking into mine u cb! WEEEEEEEEEEE. i love vulgarities a lot! IT IS SOOOO FUN. YUMMY! OKOK, talk tooo much aredi. Hand pain. Good night world & FUCK YOU! :)

♥ I LOVE GAYU. THEN I LOVE THE WORLD MANY MANY!

2010-03-09T04:41:00.001+08:00

& everything was going fine. I AM PARANOID abt the smallest thing. I'm falling further into deeper shit! WOOOHOOO. i went happily to bed. BUT, happiness didn't last. Nothing helped. Literally nth! I woke up, and here I am. I'm planning just not to sleep, since it'll be impossible to wake up at 7am! OKAY. i need to rant NOW. Oh no, not a good idea coz the whole world is watching! Ok this is going to be like sunday's post. i just have got one thing to say. I am in a huge mess. People who noe me, clearly noe tat too!. so help me if you can & f*ck off if u can't. just dun make life harder for me! Just this one person is screwing every shit up! HOW NICE WLD IT BE IF U DIN EXIST!

2010-03-08T23:37:00.001+08:00

YAY! second post of the day! i am feeling better! LOL, my evening was happening! I got my favourite J.CO donut. bro bought oreo for me! DAD's doing night shift! then i watched nijangal! I LOVE TODAY's one lor! yamuna so strong. i got a few points from that drama. dun forgive people who did their mistakes knowingly, i mean it depends to which extend their mistakes are la.. oh & when u did something wrong DIDN'T i even cross your mind? HUH?!!! then just divorce ur husband if he slept with someone else. dun even bother thinking or letting him justify himself. it's total crap. ERM, all guys cheat in a way. Hari, Akhil's tryin to fool the girl & yamuna's father! TRUST ME, madhu is his own daughter! I CAN TELL IT SO CLEARLY! he had an affair too!! WTF ryt?! HAIZ. Message of the day: Every minute u waste getting angry, u lose 60sec of happiness! CHILL! tats the lesson i learned at least! & i'm gonna sleep soon coz i've got plans that begin at 7am tmr. GOOD NIGHT WORLD!

♥ I'll play this game so well, you'll feel the pain one fine day!

2010-03-08T19:44:00.001+08:00

Oh yes! Monday was good. I was home the whole day. I LIKE it a lot. coz when i stay home i lose weight without eating & that's just great!! AT 12midnight, arun msged. 1 min later, goutham msged. i was a abit confused abt who i was replying.. i was a lil rude to goutham still, even after months! but he still said sweet stuffs that sounded flattering! i felt bad.. OOOOHHH. but no! then i was supposed to go and sleep. but sadly i couldn't. i ended up watching ugly betty. listening to justin bieber's songs till abt 7am. HAHAHAHAHA. insomnia started. LOL. then all i knew was i woke up at 4 pm. 7msges, 3 missed calls. Sorry people!! haha. firstly ram anna wanted to go orchard tonight. Dad home, so no way i'm getting out! Saras msged. i'm supposed to meet her for a long long time but i guess today was also not the day! sorry saras! jan asked to check out movie timing. gayu msged. SORRY! Gugu msged to call him. He asked me, POMBALAIYA NEE? lol, tired must sleep wad! ahahaa. then tonight, the only meal of the day is gonna be KOKA noodles for dinner. it's an upgrade from maggi mee okay!! i'm at page326 of the book. HELL of a slow reader. OH & to u my love, I guess you're trying to fool me.. I am a fool, i noe it. THX. ADIOZ!

And to u bitch, GO AND DIE! :))

2010-03-07T22:32:00.000+08:00

Sunday was not too good. I refused to go to orchard in the morning with mum & bro. Sorry! Missed james' called. called him back. he was arnd my place. i cldn't get out. Sorry to u too! It was better at night. went for dinner with mum & bro at tamp 1. we were laughing at the hamster babies for a good 5 min. dumb or wad?! we went to Yamakawa to get tidbits. green apple green tea! Bro's gg to Adelaide next july for 2 and a half yrs if things are confirmed. shld i pray he does or not? i am scared to handle it myself at home. i got to wait for 2 weeks LATEST for them to get back to me. Sighs. The annoying orange is really annoying. U won't get it unless u watch it! VICKY, THANKS A LOT! i recorded NI yst night. so i'd probably watch it tonight since dad's not home. that'll occupy me for 3hrs. WOOOOHOOO! erm, wad else? tmr is monday! the whole world noes that. Nero is not okay, the whole world noes that too. ALRYT, enough. Byebye!

2010-03-06T23:58:00.004+08:00

& now i wanna deactivate facebook. Followed by shutting down the blog. BUT all of angel's effort wasted. Morning went to JB. i din sleep yst nyt. din noe wad was coming. morning was a disaster. i covered up with the excuse of saw eyes. sun glasses were gd company. cabbed home arnd 2pm, quite bad! like just cld not stop it from flowing. i was glad mum and bro left me alone. they din question. i just walked along wherever they went. i was strong enuf to get out of home. i am proud of myself. i'ma strong girl. dun wish to mention further. had plans with lava in the evening, i badly needed to talk to someone. we went to VIVO, sentosa, siloso, IR & HERSHEYS. all i cld think at the damn __ was, screw u bitch! erm, 7/ll kept us full. Conclusion, yet to be known. wad u want me to do la? she says cursed. she says immature. she says what goes arnd comes arnd! feels like i need smth that i din touch for a long tym. It's wrong. I noe. i'm not stupid. i've got aims & dreams. i feel sorry for you. Get well soon alright u freaking assholes! this post is in a mess. shut up, i noe. my thoughts are all over. desperately searching for a focus point u idiot, get it. you fooled me honey. u let her do that? am i the same? the one in your playlist? i thought it was different. i thought u had it all clear. i thought! that was the f*cking problem. I THOUGHT! you're fooling me all over again! u noe what, u r smart. u noe wat, i lost in this game. and all i can think now is that the 16 year old is as strong as hell. i shld learn. THANKS for the lesson. I am weak & broken into pieces!

♥ still love the world :)

2010-03-06T02:37:00.000+08:00

Just posting to say a BIG THANK YOU to An-gel Seah for changing my song playlist. HAHA. THANKS girl!! SEE you on friday :)

2010-03-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

YES it is. I agree. It's even more beautiful if the person loves you back! And to my dearest ANONYMOUS on the tagboard, if u just wanted me to mention abt u in my post here u go.. I AM SO DELIGHTED TO HAVE SUCH A FAITHFUL FOLLOWER LIKE YOU, & u r bloody hell not gonna affect me in anyway! SO **ck off. I meant, BACK OFF! ermmm.. i still love my tagboard! i'm having it after 5 years! LOL, i love u taggie!! Okay, so friday was rather hot! i mean the weather. yst nyt cannot sleep sia. then today morning at abt 9am, i woke up just because a damn baby lizard was on my bed. HOW HORRIBLE! i slept with a lizard. lol! it jumped off and ran! u must be lucky i din squeeze u to death! okay so was clearing up today. arranging things so it looks neat.. i like it when it's neat.. evening went for NECDC IAEC meeting.. ermmm, there's some huge major project coming up in june, so ya, planning begins! event updates: BHANGRA NIGHT(4 hrs of dance floor with bhangra&bollywood music) with food and free flow of drinks provided! it is on the 27 MARCH 2010, evening @ TECC! so contact me for tics at $5! UNIVERSAL STUDIOS' opening on the 18th! HOW COOL! okay, enough for friday! :)

2010-03-05T03:59:00.001+08:00

He always says take care & he always says I'll take care of you. & he always never fails to make my day! & i'm actually glad that I met u in my life. SO HAPPY. Too much of happiness till i can't explain myself. i shall not go on with the BUT! actually to be honest, i m sick of living in this barbie doll world where i'm not living happily. SCREWed up big time. Only if some things could change. OKAY BUT AT LEAST I'M FAKING IT TAT I'M HAPPY! isn't tat great?!! One problem leaves, & a few others just can't wait to run into ur life huh? Maybe i'm not complaining to anyone coz i'm immune to this shit! Just wish these things were happening in my dreams. oh no, coz i'm awake!!! i just realised when i'm feeling so troubled, i can't fall asleep peacefully. coz i tried just now, and failed big time. tats why i am here. frankly, i can't wait for gayu to finish her exams. i need due help. the hardest is when u can't talk to people who dunno anything though there are so many arnd! gugs might help in a way, tats provided i see him soon. hippo aredi has lots of things to handle. i dun need to trouble him abt this! i dunno why but when i see people who have much more troubles than i do, i dun feel like speaking up at all. i'd rather spend time happily with them so at least there's this moment of happiness in their lives! Hot fresh tears flowing now. I cannot stop them. let them at least calm my soul. if it helps. Oh & i might have seen you not long ago, but i miss you a lot! Thanks for making me miss you so much! & thanks for putting me in a state where i can't do anything about it! THANKS. i'm at page 230 of the book. i love the book. another half more to complete it! i am going mad. i can feel it. OKAY, bye bye world!

2010-03-05T00:33:00.000+08:00

I loved him. He needed time to think and that was ok! He was worth waiting for... and waiting for... and waiting for. Finally I realized I had waited away my life for an answer he had already given me: Had he loved me back, I would not have had to wait!

-Anonymous

2010-03-04T21:40:00.000+08:00

Is tat really true?? Ok NOOO. i dun feel like blogging anymore. Because, i dun really like the world?! HAHA. anyway, today mum was on half day. went to ntuc, FINALLY. mum & dad went out. went to meet RAM ANNA! bought dinner home for bro, end of day! JEEVAN says too many words! YUCKS! lol, anyway i'm stopping HERE!

2010-03-03T03:20:00.000+08:00

Okay. And here I am back on the com! I cld not sleep.. I will go to bed after this post. I caught the movie, "The jerk theory", a comedy & romance mixed film. Common storyline, but not too bad. It did entertain me! Erm i dun exactly have a real reason for being so active on facebook, blogging & even on MSN. i just felt like letting go of everything. Like throw all those locked up feelings aside & freak out! It was two people ranting abt their love life to me. TWO is too much for me to take in, in any one day. But ya, i somehow handled my own feelings and talked to them. I din mean to blog abt it. But, i din identify anyone. So it's still a secret! To others out there, pay attention to this! If you choose to get into a relationship, U r making a decision, u r making a choice of ur own! There's NO ONE to blame! It is a commitment! There's no such thing as TRYING again. If u have ever been in a relationship before, then learn from the past. Dun u ever repeat ur mistake & then complain abt it after tat. You have to give some of your time, lots of your love, and more importantly lots & lots of affection. Lots of understanding and compromise on both sides. It is a blessing if you've found a gd love match. I'd rather not use the word "perfect match" for very obvious reasons! Love can do wonders. It can really motivate someone. But the sad thing is it has to be flowing both ways! AND it's not abt just jumping into stuffs just because he/she likes you or even loves you! You got to think abt BOTH of you benefiting from the relationship as a result of love & concern for each other, and becoming successful individuals in the future. In this case, even if there has to be a split up, both of you are successful enough to stand on your own feet! There'll be much less mess & pain. You may or may not stop telling me stuffs after seeing this. But if u strongly feel he/she isn't the right one, then think through carefully, talk to some others and breakaway! Tat doesn't give u the excuse to find another one though! Take some time for urself, relax in the single-hood life. and if u think u need someone to be reassuring u, to make u feel safe & all, then select carefully! People look at it as such a big complication! But it's quite simple after all. It's about two people, not just ONE! U may say i'm not in a relationship to comment so much! It's about what i've been through & not wanting you to go through shit too! YOU make the wrong move & you will be doomed forever. Off too bed :)

2010-03-02T21:16:00.001+08:00

Second post for the day coz i just feel LIKE posting! Ok i slept for 2 hours or so.. Coz i felt like it. I feel like using twitter. SHOULD I? haha. justin bieber's on it!! LOL. isn't tat a good enuf reason to start "twitting"! HMMM. oh and i deleted my friendster account! For privacy reasons.. Just facebook alone is good enuf. i can't handle both & i dun think it's too good to have too many people having access to photos & all. As u get older, u have to tone down a lil i guess. Avoid unnecessary problems along the way. Be wise! HAHA. I'm in pieces, baby fix me!! LOL, ok i'll stop the justin bieber crap.. I'm on page 61 of my book. Not bad. I like the storyline. James called while i was taking my afternoon nap. Sry for missing the call! Jeevan called in the evening. GRRRR. can't go night cycling coz it was too late. How the hell do u expect me to rent a bike at 7pm? I noe he has one, tat doesn't mean I HAVE IT! but i want to go Night cycling so badly, before james starts his f*cked up attachment! lol, tats wad he called it! The debate over the budget goes on.. I'm kinda interested in politics, especially those issues abt the economy & blahblahblah. I mean, being analytical just expands the mind after all. Blame the business course i'm doing, for changing me. But i'm glad it did. Coz i'm interested in what i'm doing & that makes me happy! If it makes you happy, then do it! WEEEEEEE! Appreciate the smallest things in life, and you'll appreciate LIFE itself. You'll be happy. Life's so short, in fact i'm done with almost 1/3 of my life. I did achieve things tat i really wanted to. But there's more to go. Hopefully by 30, I'm really satisfied with with all I have. I'm GLAD, truly glad. I love the WORLD even more today! :)

♥

2010-03-02T11:11:00.002+08:00

I just returned home after the XRAY at street 11 clinic. so crowded, but it was done in split seconds. CHEY! like tat only. i thought X-rays were a big deal! Maybe the ones at hospitals are a lil diff! WHo cares! anyway, i only managed to sleep at 4am. i din wanna force those pills down, so i eventually fell asleep without them. Then i woke up at 8am! HOW IMPRESSIVE ryt? i noe.. just wanted to make good use of my last few weeks of good life! thank god people are on poly breaks!! after that, i can dream on abt enjoying aredi. 2 years of hardwork studying & working, and after tat i'm gonna JUMP straight into my career. i just had these three months. i din really waste my time. i did have plenty of fun! it's like too much, & it's enuf!! i like the way things are planned out. Coz if you fail to plan, u're planning to fail!! Today's gonna be stay home day. though might be gg out in the evening with mum, probably to NTUC or smth. dad's home. wed, thurs, fri, sat & sun ARE gg out days. & fri's A'Levels results. I'm praying hard for matthew, janelle, shankari & preethi! Hope these lovely people get the best of the BEST results. GOOD LUCK. oh and i watched Up in the Air & When in Rome. It was two good movies. My kinda movies.. What else? The weather's TOO hot nowadays. Bush fires are bad stuffs, hate the haze in the morning. The air just stinks! What's happening to earth?! Oh and i almost forgot. I saw an old sweet couple just now! He was helping her down from the bus and they held hands as they walked together. So sweet. I saw envious looks on the faces of the other elderly at the bus stop! HAHA, jealous ehh?? I never saw their faces, but i'm praying they'll live a long live happily together. HAHA, randomness! Randomness=Neroshaaaaaa! Oh & he's back from india! Ermmmm, ok tats all. I'm gonna read my book. Will blog later if necesary!! GOOD DAY PPL!! :)

2010-03-01T23:21:00.001+08:00

OKAY. MONDAY was RED! if i start the post with rubbish, it means it will end good, SO DON'T worry. hahaha. ok, actually i'm supposed to be pissed of.. ARGGHHH! i got a nightmare at 7.05am! Yo called. STRESSS! i missed the call intentionally. then i started to worry. i have been quite happy with myself for the past week or so. so i'm hoping and praying he won't come back and make me feel so guilty. i hate the feeling, nobody loves rejecting someone. it's just tat if two hearts dun match, means it don't! ok wadeva. i'm drinking heaven & earth ILT now! haha. its in this weird yellow & blue can, it tastes like HEAVEN & earth! WTH! okok, serious. today i went to SATS for medical test. ERM, it was all okay. i am healthy, thank god! ok but it doesn't stop here. tmr have to go for a chest X-RAY. to be honest, never been for an X-RAY b4.. ok, keep tat for tmr! Evening went for meeting. IAEC meeting. it was good today. coz i felt like voicing out today. i was in good mood. but damn, i had to take down the minutes! SO i was given an event to handle. GRRR.. and i can't wait for the dance competition in JUNE. we are gonna organise one! WE, as in the youth! & this year's deepavali show is gonna be at GRC level again. 7 months of planning is gonna begin. WOOHOOOO. Volunteering just makes u feel satisfied! tats a lot of things to occupy myself with. AND i might be joining narpani's youth committee soon. still thinking hard abt it! waiting till work starts so i can plan my timing for everything. BIKE license is on hold!! THEN i was so hyper in fb. in msn. & now i need to go and dry clothes, SO I HAVE TO GO. i'll update tmr! PEACE OUT!! oh wait, my aunty msged me! i forgot to add tat. WEEEEEEEEE! I LOVE THE WORLD!

♥

2010-02-28T21:54:00.000+08:00

Ohhh. You know u have me! I'll be there for u dearest! Okay, cut the crap. Sunday was mindblowing! HAHA. Oh and i just lied again! ok lets get SERIOUS. i forgot to remind myself in yesterdays post tat i went to the library. i got two books. THE PAGES and 10 REASONS NOT TO FALL IN LOVE! both are novels though the latter might sound more dumb. only the title. Good books! ok today was the last day for NATAS fair at s'pore expo! ermmmm.. supposed to go Bangkok but because of the alert and all, could not. THEN i cannot go. so only mum & dad going for a 5 day holiday to medan & lake toba!! wadeva luh, i've never been there b4.. WOOHOOOO. tat means 5 days of party for me! YAY! lol.. Dates are confidential though. Tmr hav to go for medical test. I'm loving it baybeh! ♥ ♥ ♥

2010-02-27T23:30:00.001+08:00

It was gooooood. Saturday was sooooooo good. Went to SATS inflight catering MPH for interview. CAS/CRA position. so many many beautiful ppl. i felt so out of place for an airport job. GRR. like i was losing hope. i am ugly for goodness sake! there were 11 interviewers. all the face like one kind. mostly men!! wth ryt?!! my interview session lasted for only 5 min. others took close to 15min!!! &&&& i was shortlisted. HAHAHAH. i dunno how, i dunno why!! so i've got to go down for medical test by wed. then i'll get notified. gd tat things are moving fast. but like PHEW, a lil too fast. happy, mixed feelings? i'ld be doing the checking in at one of the terminals. Actually my face looks quite bad so i'm wondering HOW ON EARTH they picked me still! maybe i was a lil too hyper, then the interviewer fell in love with me?!! HAHA. siao. wadeva luh. hope medi test goes well. anyway, still applying for other jobs. i'll pick the best one tat comes back to me! i returned hm at abt 2pm. exhausted. took a short nap. was up at 4pm. got ready & left for chingay fiesta at tamp. had to help out with distributing free food. the kiasu Singaporean attitude was seen. BUT still, it was so fun. The lively Singapore spirit. there were firecrackers & fireworks display. the floats were so pretty! ALL in the one and only beautiful TAMPINES! sat is loved. PICS will be in FB soon. too slow to upload here luh. adioozzz! :)

2010-02-26T23:21:00.000+08:00

OKAY friday was even more awesome! I met janelle like after a year. i missed her like mad! first she spoke.. then i spoke.. She got accepted by ANU! i was so freaking happy for her. Tats Australia's top uni.. and it was the only other uni in the territory of canberra. hahahahaha. i wish i could have gone there with her! but her course is for three years. i'll join her there after two years hopefully! WTH!! our unis are in the same state. Damn.. shld have known earlier! anyway, we talked as if there was no end. it was like one year of sharings! ok she's just too good, trust me! a great friend to have! haizzz.. anyway, we'll be meeting up more often now. isn't tat great! ok but we had to rush off by 7pm. i had meeting at 8pm. lol returned at 10.30pm.. i cnt wait for tmr now!! and oh ya, job search officially begins! COME ON, i've got my cert!! will update tmr for sure. ADIOZZ :))

2010-02-25T22:59:00.006+08:00

Thursday was great. Started at 9am.. went for consultation finally. Ermmmm. yes yes, she said stress is a major cause for my illness. I told her HUH? Me no stress!! haha, i guess she believed. But she said it can be cured! I was so freaking happy! then went over to my school. I got my diploma cert! Another reason to be damn freaking happy!! i registered for the degree course. it's gonna begin in end march. logically in april luh! i was asking Dr lim abt the chances of gg to canberra to do the last two semesters. he adviced me to continue with my honours (if i'm smart enough) or masters there.. i kinduf agree with him. so ya, another two years rotting here.. then caught MY NAME IS KHAN at Gv tamp @ 5.40pm wif mum and bro.. it was a good movie. i said good, not great! i started with the freaking bitter medicine at night. BLUEKKK. tastes like crap. worst thing tat has ever touched my taste buds! and lastly sleeping pills before sleep. my late nights will be gone!! Actually it was quite huge and hard to swallow! i hate all this.. I can't imagine doing this for a week. GOD save me!! But u know what, I LOVE THE DAY!

2010-02-24T22:05:00.000+08:00

I'm addicted to jeevan's blog. It makes u think. It makes you crack ur head and THINK! ok, i cannot say much. sadly tats the truth. Oh abt yst, went to watch "From paris with love" at GV marina wif gayu. I'm not a FAN of action packed movies coz i hate fight scenes and all that crap. BUT THIS WAS GOOD. it made blood go gushing to my head & trust me comedy scenes were great! i mean not the best movie, but was not too bad for an action packed movie. & i saw janelle at somerset313. Miss her like crazy. hope to like meet up soon. Accompanied mum for her dental surgery at outram, i was rotting for a 2 good hours at NDC. she got a 5 day MC. like phew!! I dun need to face him at home alone coz i've got company. I'm gonna love the week till abt sat. ermm.. i've got econs to do. A lil hard.. GRRR. it's like i almost forgot wad i studied. But i will try my best luh. today was home. it takes abt 2 weeks to get cured without medicine at all. so ya, getting well slowly. had zinger for dinner. was just tat ass-holic craving. k, i dunno where i got that new word from. But ya, pouring out vulgarities in words feels much better that screaming it out. ahhh fuck, its the same! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT, QUARRELS everywhere. so noisy, i dun like noise in the form of arguments! pisses me off big time! it feels like there's no peace when ppl fight. really no peace! anyway, tmr's gonna be a good good day. but it's gonna start at 8am. I'm thinking how if i only manage to sleep at 5am! no more status updates in fb, at least for now, dunno for how long! She believes in me, but I'm not believing in myself. Tats the whole damn problem. It took two years to save up all these special love. I din dare to trust, coz i thought everyone's gonna be the same! but i swear u weren't. even among all frens, u were simply diff! I'm just clueless, confused, and i dunno wad to do. LOVE? FEAR? a mix of both?? i also dun understand. Want to let go to save the friendship, but at the same time it feels like u just can't coz u need someone so badly. And now I am thinking tooooooo much!! This dumb feeling of mine! KILL IT BEFORE U DIE NERO!!

2010-02-23T03:08:00.001+08:00

Nothing to say aredi. GONE is gone!

2010-02-21T01:41:00.000+08:00

It's not like i dun have time to update but i dun wish to. ERM, i'm officially 19. But ya, 19 is good. 2010 is gd. Tiger year is good. everything is good with me. But i noe that people around me are not fine. I've seen them thru most of my life & they just seem to be struggling so much. it's not as if i can help coz some things are hard. i'll promise to do what i can though. like its no use when i'm living my life happily and other dear ones are having a fucked up life. this is totally not fair! they don't deserve it! i feel so bad now. reading people's blog can really tell u so much.. all they cld do is pour out their feelings in words. but i can feel how hurt they must be inside. but still they react as if nothing happened. haha. That's the talent! we all share that same special art of making things seem so fine on the outside. D, D and D. yup tat has been my life for the past week or so! GG OFF!!!

2010-02-10T03:11:00.000+08:00

LOVE CONTINUES.
Sometimes i dunno if i'm pushing away the wrong person for another? some ppl are saying go for the one that really loves you coz he'll take care of you and all. but blah blah blah..... i've got feelings too. i can't cheat myself & force myself to love someone just becoz he does! and come on, they might be just putting on this whole drama thing. u dunno how many ppl they go arnd telling the same dialogue to! And feelings really fade away. so just dun believe everything and be blind. i tink it's better to be gd frens, noe each other well enough & after tat nth wrong if love develops. and if there's no special kinda feeling then continue with friendship. WHY mess things up?? but i really dun feel tat this one or two week of knowing each other crap works! I AM NOT DUMB. love at first sight, even worse! SRY to YOU, but i mean it! it takes months, or even years to get tat special feeling. And if you feel the same way when u see every guy, then it's JUST SO WRONG. it means its not special anymore. Hugs, dates, kisses, atttention, even a light touch or whatever; it is all special stuffs. save it for the right one, coz that's when it will really mean smth to you! DUN GET BLINDED by love. it's beautiful yet dangerous. blame ur ownself for unnecessary heartbreaks & rejections, coz u probably rushed into smth. LIVE, LAUGH & LOVE PEOPLE!!

2010-02-09T23:19:00.039+08:00

TUESDAY was great! ok actually i din wake up in a very gd way! i was so mad, i called my mum, i screamed abt wad happened. put down the phone n cried so hard! I WAS SO PISSED. like seriously! ok the mad part is over. coz my dear aunt msged. it's as if she read my mind tat i was not feeling okay. ahahah, just her msged cooled everything down. i felt so good. then mum called from office. she said she had 2 tics for valentines day movie at grand cathay! i was like WTF, u kidding or wad?! firstly, i hav never been to grand cathay & next, the movie hasn't even been released yet luh! so i die die wanted them. but the effing prob is so last min so i dunno who to go wif. aunt, gayu & arun cldn't make it. i din wanna call Yo, coz i noe he'll say yes, but i'll be sending the wrong signals i guess. anyway, AZIL SAID YES! so we went for tat freaking awesome movie. I LOVED IT. i won't give any movie reviews here coz YOU SHLD watch it urself! But after the movie ends, it feels quite dumb luh. or maybe i felt like tat. HAHAHAHA. such love movies freak u out sometyms! ok the coincident thing was he msged today, just as mum said she had the free tics. He said i went MIA! ermmmmm, i think it was rude not to rply after ignoring for 4 days. just as i replied with azillah arnd, he said he said he's waiting to bring me out on a date! erm, tat was too fast! i freaked out! she was like wth! u can't freak ppl out like tat!!!! i was discussing with azil abt this whole date thingy.. YES it was the first time sm1 actually called me out for a date, but come on u can't do this! a date is supposed to be special i guess. like there's feelings frm both sides or smth. both must be aredi super comfortable with each other wad!! u noe that a person or at least I won't be able to act normally once i noe its a date! THINGS are gonna be so weird!! tats so DUMB! If it's a casual outing or some frenly outing its different. ITS NOT TAT I'M anti-dating / anti-men!!! LETS JUST BE FRIENDS and see how things go! it takes a long long time and u have to understand tat. I'm not anti-relationship but its just not right to force my feelings for you when I dun have u in mind. SRY! ARGH!!!!! !@#$^&*

2010-02-08T23:02:00.004+08:00

6 feb: Was the pongal show. HORRIBLE. weather was hot like shit. Yo called me out for dinner, i said NO, i'm sick! BLEH! just an excuse. then sat night outing was with gayu & arun! went to pasir ris park. AHAHAHAH. LOVELY day.
7 feb: i reached home at 9am i think. LOL. then i woke up at 2pm after all the nagging! ahaha. selva msged. ram msged. TIRED like hell. lol, but still went over to ram's place lor! me, my bro, selva, ram, tharshan & kamala chitti had a gr8 time together! as usual, all the nonsense. jamming session was gg on. i was on the keyboard. then we played ps3 like siao. HAHAHAH. the game was like grandtheft!!!! but i forgot the name of it luh. he shld buy Wii instead la! then left at 9pm walked back to tamp inter to meet mum to go NTUC. CNY stocking up starts! WOOOHOOOO. gg to overnight on the 13th & 14th. 15th is CNY visiting! BUSY DAYS. oh ya, Yo msged to watch valentines day movie. i missed replying. busy!
8 feb: hilarious monday. coz nth happened i think. actually cannot rmb sia! who cares! it's over!!!

2010-02-05T20:27:00.002+08:00

I think it got a bit better. I'm just believing it did at least! MUST hope & pray. i think i'm gonna go to CGH tmr after the show. like i dun seem to have a choice.. Fever's hitting in, mum's afraid that it'll cause other troubles. i've got to EMCEE that pongal show tmr, i dunno how am i going to do it, but i got to hide all the pain. I CANNOT show it on my face. i have to smile. i think cannot sia. nvm, i'll see how tmr. I'm not eating anything, coz i only wanna drink lots and lots of water. it'll help, hopefully. HAIZ. and i dun wanna watch valentines day. I wanna watch: I HATE VALENTINES DAY. it's running in cathay. woohooooooo! but of course, i'll catch it online myself. ok, i can't type more, it hurtssssss. BYEBYE friday! :)

2010-02-05T06:04:00.000+08:00

I was home on tues, wed & thurs. today's gonna be stay home day too. i mean i totally never stepped out of the house, besides watering & talking to the plants. not even to get food for myself. how horrible! It's so painful.. If it doesn't get better mum will drag me to A&E on sat. I dun wanna go there. I've never entered hospitals for surgery & all that shit & i dun want to. 19 years, no joke. NO!!! I'm afraid. just scared of the pain. and i'm not joking here. i'll try to get cured by myself. u just got to be patient, like me!! ARGHHHHHH. now its not like i can't fall asleep. i wanna sleep, but it hurts so badly. move a bit, & it HURTS like shit. tat freaking needle poking pain every sec is a killer! it's gonna be 6 am! !@#$!!! how long will this thing take to get okay?? OH GOD, pls help me. this thing is making me feel sooooo terrible. I'm becoming so moodless. No mood to blog properly also. GG OFF!!!!!! YAY mum juz woke up!! she's gonna take MC & stay home today. i forced her to do it. at least i'll have some company at home. OK, i feel a lil better now :)

2010-02-04T03:10:00.001+08:00

I found a creature with half my name on the internet! I fell in love with this innocent looking dog.. It's gonna be 3am & i can't sleep. I found out smth.. Then i was thinking so hard till my brain was gonna explode! Then i gave up. ok thankfully my mum's the one who opens the letterbox coz I GOT A FINE for parking just 12mins extra. sway like hell sia. i got to quickly pay. if i feel better i'll go down later. but for now, i feel horrible. Especially after seeing some stuffs, i feel totally bad.. FML!! okay, no vulgarities. i'm cool abt it.. i'm just so afraid i'll end up in IMH one day. Pls come & visit me if i do :( HAIZ! and i wanna watch Valentine's DAY. it's coming out in exactly 1 week! The trailer seems awesome. i wanna watch but i dunno if i shld! SHOULD I?? what if i end up watching it & feel more horrible?? alright, enuf for now! I'm not in a good mental state.. Will blog laterrrrr.

2010-02-03T22:22:00.002+08:00

I was fine all along. Maybe that's a BIG FAT LIE. but u came into my life & got me into a HUGE confusion. Now it feels like there's no tmr without you. I'm keeping this feeling right within coz i dun want it to get out & spoil everything. I treasure the friendship we share more than anything else. You're different & special! I trust you MORE than I love you. I dun want this to end, even if it hurts so much within! This goes out to YOU!

I was a ship without a sail,

A kite without a tail,

I wondered down life's path from day to day.

I was a note without a song,

& then you came a long,

came along & helped me find my way!

& I THANK YOU for the dream,

The dream locked deep inside me,

Thank you for the dream to light my way.

You saw something in me that I could not see myself,

So i THANK, THANK YOU FOR THE DREAM!

2010-02-03T03:33:00.003+08:00

Friends. A simple word isn’t it? It’s uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren’t that, they’re the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They’re the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don’t judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You’re tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but sweetest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life!

2010-02-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

I was struggling to fall asleep yst night. it was really bad. i dunno wad tym i fell asleep but i noe it was morning aredi coz the sunshine came shining in my room.. my head hurt a lot. i could feel the balaku on my head.. my neck was so painful, i dunno why.. my back hurts like nobody's business. i'm having a bad throat, nose is running & feeling feverish. i'm still stubborn abt drinking more green tea. Cold drinks are shiok when u r sick, especially when it hits the throat. but i'm perfectly fine. falling sick is nothing, but i just dun like the sore throat. i stayed home the whole day. mum bought dinner home. her husband claims to be doing afternoon + night shift.. so ya, just the 3 of us are home! music, music & just more of music. i feel better listening to songs after songs. Even if it's playin on repeat, it still sounds gd.. thought of watching movie tonight if i can't fall asleep. tat seems to be the case always when i'm sick.. sleeping & breathing becomes so hard at night. it's okay, i'll sleep in the day instead! & i'm praying that he doesn't have anything towards me! he's calling me out this sat. It's too fast.. i'm not comfortable. NOOOOOOOOO! Arghhhhhhhhhh. its just so wrong to be frenly uh? if i dun talk, ppl say i am so arrogant! i dun like talking to ppl coz u always end up thinking so much. can't it just be plain frenship?!! how do u ppl fall in love wif everyone u meet? i dun like it when ppl get the wrong idea when u start being nice & talking to them. & i dun like getting stuck in this rubbish. I dunno how to say NO. i dun wanna hurt ppl. WTH u want me to do?????!!!

2010-02-01T23:59:00.069+08:00

It's the first of feb aredi.. time passed so fast and jan is gone!! I can't believe it. 11 more months to go only.. so freaky.. i need time to go a lil slowly! was talkin on the phone yst nyt till quite late.. so thought of meeting my dear fren today since he was on leave & it was quite long since i saw him.. supposed to meet at 3pm, i was late.. met at admiralty.. ok it's quite a dumb place coz it was freaking hard to find seats with a TABLE. lol, so just walked till we found one.. was funny actually, or rather i found it funny.. hmm.. but finally it was a pretty good place we settled down at. the usual stuffs.. actually i have to thank god for sending me such a fren who can put up with all my nonsense when i start going haywire! no one has ever seen me in such a horrible, ugly state. Not even my ex! though it feels like shit after everything, sometimes u just have to unwind and relax i guess.. frankly, i won't dare to behave like this anywhere else or wif so many ppl arnd.. so embarrassing! i'm such a disappointment :( but i swear i can't help it.. so stressful & i'm not giving this excuse just so that i can dr***.. luckily i've got a good fren who i trust & safely let myself go wild with! i'm gonna be 19 & finally found a gr8 guy fren! HOW COOL is that?! maybe at least i'm happy abt it.. it brings happiness into my life! U have to be in my shoes to feel it!! thanks to him.. but i guess there'll be one day he won't be able to tahan my rubbish & will leave. Life's great with such awesome ppl around! Can kick all your worries aside when u have these ppl arnd you! :)

2010-01-31T23:41:00.001+08:00

I woke up at 1 plus! LOL. i tink mum and bro were trying to wk me up in the mornin to pull me with them to JB. they were unsuccessful! so tired sia, was flat since yst. then dragged myself to wk up. called bro to say i was gg out. Met yoga at 3pm. Okay actually i was super nervous! I've never went out with him in my life in 6 years. met at CS. went to catch tooth fairy again. HAHA, but still funny. after movie, we walked and talked! Walk arnd my place, then finally settled down under blk and talked. Okay, he was mainly doing the talking. can see he was trying hard to mk me feel comfortable. but ya, i wasn't too bad today. I did talk luh.. He changed a lot. He's still as funny as usual, full of NONSENSE, but he's really different! he's coming out in the tamil film thingy also, dancing for aerocratz! he's 21 aredi so i guess he sees things differently. vry practical thinking! at least he thinks abt his future & not typical like others! he was talking abt home, his life and all.. he's getting enlisted for poilce in march.. he kept on emphasizing i wasn't like others.. he remembered every single detail abt me! Made fun abt how i looked wif tat dumb hairstyle last tym, MEE GORENG or wadeva he called it! HAHA. but so funny.. sec sch were the best days.. No worries & life was so carefree! but after a long long tym, it was really good to meet him. Mum called abt 6pm.. so we left home quite soon.. i came hm and was telling my bro how diff yoga was. HE din believe. he cldn't even believe I went out with him in the first place. LOL. i also dunno how i did it. it was all of a sudden and i just said ok! mum, me and bro went to tampinesONE for dinner. I was talking and talking abt Yoga. bro msged him & cldn't wait to meet up with him too.. but i swear i had a gd time today. He's a great fren to have. Someone who never fails to mk others smile! won't forget this sunday :)

2010-01-31T06:36:00.000+08:00

James called so was talking till abt 2am. he was telling me abt his sch stuffs that were distracting him. pity him. he's in due stress. haiz, anyway, then he spoke abt other stuffs & he seemed really happy abt it. As long he's happy, i'm pretty much happier for him! Arun called at 2am plus. he was at tank rd there after following kavadi i guess. somebody's havin a few days break!! at least he'll be able to rest after working hard for so long. & it's been a long long time since i saw him actually. or maybe its just the days passing by so fast. Then yoga was msging on fb.. A BIG SURPRISE! he suggested catching a movie later in the afternoon at tamp. was so random. he said he was a loner. LOL. he???? LONER??????? rubbish! popular dancer & still say loner. some ppl are just crazy! tat means i'm not gg to JB, since i'm gonna meet him. tat clown's still the same. haven't changed in six years. haha, sec school memories all coming into my head. anyway we've got 3 yrs of catching up to do so hope there's stuffs to talk abt! i dun want weird silence all.. lol, but wadeva is it, he'll do some comedy i guess. Looking forward to a splendid sunday!